Colloquially, we sometimes use act as a synonym for occurrence/event, apologies I didn’t realise that might be interpreted differently.
In British English, the word act is often used as a noun to mean a specific instance, deed, or single occurrence. While not a direct synonym for “happening” in all contexts, it is commonly used to describe an event, particularly when that event is intentional, distinct, or a single component of a larger situation.
The allowing and going into abeyance is definitely the trickier part for me to experientially understand and pinpoint what that looks like, if that makes sense. Not helped by how few PCE’s I have had and how long since happening. Is the act of being sincere, naive and happy and harmless the very same allowance or does this indicate something else I might have misunderstood about the method?
I am definitely being more jovial about it and not taking it as personally and thus able to get back to feeling felicitious and so also more attentive and aware. There is still a bit of to-ing and fro-ing between the states but its lost its utter hold on me, this week alone has had massive uptick in felicity and several EEs too.
Haha, yes I noticed that. The resentment and passivity alter and impact the experience of reality such that it taints how you interpret words and information, I see it is much like what I gleaned from the experiences of depression and anxiety/panic attacks, these states also are like a negative version of the rose tinted glasses concept.
There is definitely a more vibrant, involved attentiveness occurring these last few days. I am engaged and taking responsibility. I am taking responsibility to proactively keep up that momentum.
This very concept has always been a massive life changing realisation for me when first reading Richard’s words about it. I feel like I understand the how and why it came to be like this now too, having a hyper critical and aggressive parent this internal criticism is very much a learned narrative but also a self defence from an unsafe environment, if I am hyper vigilant and attack myself first I would protect myself from being punished or humiliated, or it wouldn’t feel as bad if that happened.
It is a deeply ingrained habit to be unkind to myself and I am trying to stop doing it and be aware of it. I mean there is tangible progress, 2 or 3 years ago these types of responses from yourself would have triggered automatic negative feelings and fuel for self criticism and attack.
Yes, much of my life has been that stance and is a big reason my relationship with my wife has broken down too and a lot of friendships drifted.
Time to get sensible then!