Adam-Cl: This is very interesting subject for me and covering aspects that have been on my mind a lot lately.
Hi Adam,
If you are referring to the articles called “From Basic Freedom to Full Actual Freedom” then please note that these were written mainly for those people who have already become actually free. Unless you are actually free, you may have misunderstood or mis-applied a lot of those “aspects that have been on my mind a lot lately”. What you have written further down about “Vineeto mentioning”, as in wanting “to skip to the goal” may just as easily apply to you as well.
Adam-Cl: One of the realisations I keep circling back to is this passivity to me.
An expectation that things will happen of their own accord but in these instances I lack the will or intent to actualise things. It is not just about actualism, you can substitute fitness, work development, interpersonal relations, personal interest projects and it is the same pattern.
Is this “passivity” perhaps the reason you were reading about what happens after becoming actually free?
Adam-Cl: I want the benefits without the work. I might be paraphrasing but I recall Vineeto mentioning that in her early days she wanted to skip to the goal of being actually free too and in essence that was evidence of a resentment to being alive, rather than sincerely enjoying and being harmless in this moment of being alive.
It is like some form of learned helplessness I am suffering from. I am having to unpick and unlearn it and accept my active engagement and agency is required to do this method or actually have results in any aspect of my life. The success at least in relative terms of more felicitous moments, EE’s and less mental suffering you would think would be ample evidence to maintain momentum but it is not always the case. I have to have the will and agency to be doing the method and have the intent, there is no autopilot mode, quick win or cheat mode.
When you recalled Vineeto reporting from ‘her’ experience that jumping ahead “was evidence of a resentment to being alive”, did you inquire into yourself if you were also prone to such a resentment? And furthermore, if/when you found this being the case, did you do something to overcome such resentment? I am only asking because such a resentment of being alive can make the afflicted person lethargic, half-hearted, lackadaisical and listless, if not also angry and anxious.
However, you make no mention in your post about resentment and instead put your emotional situation down to “learned helplessness”. It is somewhat indicative passing the buck to those who taught you this “helplessness” you are now suffering from, and suggesting that you have nothing to do with it and therefore cannot do anything about it – in other words, a typical expression of passivity.
It doesn’t really matter how you acquired this passivity, and as such don’t need to “unpick and unlearn” it but instead decide to take responsibility for how you are today. You can pay fascinated attention to how you feel, each moment again, and then get back to feeling good. Take notice of the trigger which caused the less-than-feeling good mood and once you are feeling good again, find out why it happened and discover what you can change in you not to have it happen again. I have described this process in almost every post I have written in the last 18 months, and Richard detailed it in ‘This Moment of Being Alive’ and all related correspondence (see Actual Freedom Library, How to Become Free From the Human Condition), so you should have no difficulty finding out what to do – once you gathered the will, the energy and the intent to actually do something about your situation.
Adam-Cl: With certain mental health issues they can really diminish your sense of agency or will.
Now that I have made headway with depression and anxiety, I notice there is a strong element about their perpetuation that relates to agency and the sphere of influence to change one’s circumstances. There are many aspects of one’s life that are uncontrollable such that physically and emotionally painful (at least for those of us not free or in abeyance/PCE) experiences can happen and somehow one can cement a mindset of hopelessness and futility as regards the application of one’s will or intent.
Important: should you receive any kind of professional care and/or medication for your “mental health issues” such as “depression and anxiety” then actualism is not for you – that would be counterproductive. It is vital that you read the ‘Disclaimer’ which link is at the bottom of every page of the AFT website.
Besides, with a firm belief that “many aspects of one’s life that are uncontrollable”, such as emotional pain, actualism won’t be of any use to you until you dismantle/ abandon this belief.
Adam-Cl: It is as though I had formulated a belief that getting to out from control or basically free would happen of its own accord. It is not about my agency but some spontaneous event that will occur like radioactive decay. (link)
In case you are not in professional care for your “mental health issues” I strongly advise to forget any imagination about “getting to out from control or basically free” and start from where you are at.
Aim for feeling good as much as possible while with diligence and sensible contemplation recognizing any obstacles to feeling good you may discover, such as a basic resentment of being alive, habitual listlessness (passivity), anxiety and depression (for suggestions and explanations see Actualvineeto, Selected Correspondence for any topic which applies.
Cheers Vineeto