“We are all just running software that is trying to optimize our well being.” Well said. It goes without saying that some individual programs will be better optimized for that task compared to others.
Brings to mind what Richard was saying on one of the DVD’s. It’s an illusion that you are in control. Therefore, you can retire. “He didn’t become redundant, he realized he was redundant.” The universe is already running your life (for better or for worse, I might add!). It’s an illusion that you are in control.
So whether or not you buy into that illusion – and by the way, it’s not up to you as to whether or not you buy into it – conditions and causes innumerable are at every moment dictating every thought, event, emotion, decision, leaving “us” with nothing to actually do or decide anything. All that’s left is to either be or not to be. (And whether we are or are not is, ultimately speaking, not up to us. It never was. And that, for this individual being at least, is quite alright.)
Yes, which is the point of communication. The more that a person is inclined to seek information and share information, the more probable actions in line with that information happen.
To a point, it seems.
I began to realise this week that this (communication) seems to be as far as I desire to go. Thus seeing the simplicity of “wanting to”.
So what we all do is a big exchange of information, which often conflicts with previous information. Until there is a tipping point, the balance is to remain much the same.
Blame/Credit is solely based in the idea of Free Will.
Colloquially, “choice” works to describe the decision making progress, but who is making the decision? What is deciding? Was there ever a choice? or simply awareness of the time it takes to process information?
When Free Will is seen as an illusion, it makes sense why so many things are silly.
If people are processing information (emotional, intellectual, sensory) then they will continue on a path set by that information. When I “trust” someone, am I not “trusting” that all of their information is in my best interests?
Presumably, an ally will want to provide information that will further your best interest. The nature of an alliance is that both parties share their “best interests.” As opposed to information provided by an adversary whose best interests are counter to yours. Naturally, even information provided to you with the best of intentions may be ultimately untrustworthy, that is, unreliable. But maybe you are getting at something else? (I recognize that the word “trust” is a bit of a loaded word among our little group. It carries stronger connotations for us beyond conventional definition.)
Addendum: making it more complex, the role of ally and adversary is not static and is entirely contextual. A relationship that is in alliance can turn adversarial and vice versa. Not that one has any ultimate choice as to which way things will go. (There’s my weak attempt to shoe horn all this into the topic of free will. )
In the context you provided, sure. She can’t rely on you to satisfy those deeper needs and vice versa. If she does rely on you, that is, if she trusts you, then her trust and reliance would be misplaced.
The weatherman is doing all he can to give you his best prediction of the weather tomorrow given his own information matrix and this is what you say about him?
gotcha yeah i feel the same. i barely feel attracted to anyone honestly. i enjoy the companionship of relationships but then often feel put off by the sex. i don’t think i’m attractive enough to afford the degree of selectiveness that my brain has landed on which results in me either being in relationships where i feel something is kinda sexually off and i’m going through the motions for the other parts of the dynamic i do enjoy, or being alone
The beauty reactions were automatic. A lot of my angst (I can now see) was wanting to be the best actualist vs the reactions that I was having.
I felt naturally disappointed about her looks but also a failure at actualism. I talked about actual intimacy being better than love, explained so much else too, but felt a complete fraud when I couldn’t move beyond the beauty reaction.
I am feeling really good now, and will most likely continue seeing her.
These posts by Kuba and Josef showed me the key to feeling good again.
Idk about the deterministic view which she is basing this video from, the physical laws we use (and infer determinism from) were invented by us and are convenient at the scales at which we spend our time, but are not ‘the fact’ of ‘how things work.’
‘How things work’ is much deeper and stranger than physics.
It may not matter though if the particles involved in our brains are predictable enough structurally.