Wow, @claudiu , such a detailed, generous and helpful post. I really appreciate it! This will help me in my applying the Method of AF. Your humility and caring attitude is also a sign of your advancement on this path. BTW, I have read and learned from many of your post in the past, as I have mentioned before. 
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Thank you @Miguel for your warning, I do not have much history with spiritual practices, i.e. no ASC or anything like that. As you mentioned, I have used the senses for bringing my attention to this moment and restart to feel good, and to notice my surroundings. Obrigado !
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You can also see these materials in Farsi
on the above link !
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Welcome, @leila
Thank you @Miguel
Today “I” was feeling miserable, anxious and full of fear, my lower belly churning from a feeling of dread, and a sense of gloom. “I” was fighting and trying to get away from these feelings. I got to feeling so bad, that I came to find refuge in Richard’s article that got me to feel good a few days ago.
… I came across [ " Suppose there is a feeling of sadness. Ordinary consciousness would say, ‘I am sad’. Using attentiveness, one heedfully notices the feeling as a natural feeling – ‘There is human sadness’ – thus one does not tack on that possessive personal concept of ‘I’ or ‘me’ … for one is already possessed. " ],
… So “I” changed the “I” am feeling miserable, etc. etc. to : there is natural human miserable, anxious and full of fear, lower belly churning from a feeling of dread, and a sense of gloom, is being experienced. And just switching the subject from “I” to “human”, made it much more tolerable and gave me the courage to “own” these natural human feelings.
… Then in the same article Attentiveness And Sensuousness And Apperceptiveness I read *Thus attentiveness – is an attraction – to the fact that one is *always here
– and it is already (always) now – *
and as one is already here and it is always now then one has arrived before one starts.
*This delicious wonder fosters the innate condition of naiveté (which is the closest one can get to innocence) the nourishing of which is essential if the charm of it all is to occur.
*The potent combination of attentiveness – fascinated reflective contemplation – and sensuousness produces apperception, which happens when the mind becomes aware of itself. *
- One is intimately aware that this physical space of this universe is infinite and its time is eternal … thus the infinitude of this very material universe has no beginning and no ending and therefore no middle. There are no edges to this universe, which means that there is no centre, either.* ,
////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////And what seems to make sense to me from the above, is for me to pay attention to this place as a human ( vs an “I”) , so I can have the courage and the tools of noticing HAETMOBA and then hopefully EATMOBA.
… Because it is always here, this place is available, it is easier(than this moment) for this human, to pay attention to it, and be aware of it’s happenings ( sensorial, affective, cerebral ) and not only acknowledge, tolerate, but even enjoy having the ability to be aware of and at the same time feel (just feel) even those bad feelings.
… Now this human feels maybe this post was too long,( and sloppy, sorry, I did try to fix it), but I am aware of this space once again, and reminded of the benevolence of this Universe.
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@FrankN and @leila welcome! Leila, utterly impressed and delighted by your work in translating actualism for a Farsi speaking audience. Also nice to see the Spanish language section here spearheaded by @Miguel and @milito.paz Its about time that actualism moved beyond the English speaking world.
I was a big fan of ‘I am that’ at one time.
What convinced both of you to switch from Nisargatta/Advaita to Actualism?
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Thank You so much @Srinath ! I 'm gonna let Frank to answer your wonderful question … 
It has been such a delight to translate actual freedom material . I also translated some of your PCE experience . Thank you for sharing so generously !
Yes. Many years ago I was going to share excerpts from Richard translated into Spanish on my personal site, but I stopped when I read about the incident between AFT and that Portuguese language site accused of plagiarism, etc.
What I kept doing, then, was to try to find the best translations only for certain words and expressions that would allow me to explain better or eventually write about AF in Spanish.
I don’t know what would be AFT’s current position on reproducing long excerpts/articles in another language.
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Thank you @Miguel ,you bring up such a good point about “copy write” like concerns about AFT. This material is such a Gem, and at the same time so obscure in the Internet( hard to come across ) and “un-digestible”( unlikely to be comprehended, let alone applied by many), that we did not even consider such concerns. I think we all are hoping for more people to be exposed to this material in whatever form or language. Miguel, your effort in translating these material, if fully appreciated, as I have seen Leila spend hundreds of hours working on this difficult subject, and I have helped her with editing and making the ideas clear for a Farsi speaking reader. Leila gets very obsessed and worked up about this work and we have to remind ourselves that Enjoying and Appreciating This Moment is the most important and useful thing that we can do and think about.
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Thank you @Srinath for you kind remarks. We were never die hard followers of Nisargadata, we just liked what he said. When we came across Richard’s ( and Vineeto, Peter) writing, it made a “whole lot more sense”; and luckily for us, we were “sensible” enough to see the “genuine article”. But as you well know, it’s been hard to point a flash light and magnifying glass, on our human condition and not be disturbed and jolted over and over again; but we keep trying with sincere intent ( partially because I know there is no other way). Of course, Slack and this forum have been crucial to keep our motivation and stickt-to-it-vness alive. Thank you again Srinath, for your generous and “gentle” sharing and involvement in these discussions!
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Thank you Claudiu and Miguel. I want to talk about my feelings for the past 2 days, which may belong under Journal section, but I will post it here also for I think it is relevant to this topic.
I have been feeling bad ( fear, unhappiness and a sense of dread at the bottom of the stomach) on and off for the last 2 days. When I go for the pce walks ( 2 times a day, morning and afternoon ,1+ hour each time - and mostly enjoy seeing the beautiful reflection of trees and the sky against the bottom of the pond rocks) , I can bring myself to feel happy and even maybe experience EE. But other times when I do HAIETMOBA, I came up with not feeling good, So this morning in bed between 4-7 a.m. I tried feeling it out, and told myself that I need to be able to face this [ fear, anxiety, unhappiness, dread] completely, so I am not running from it. In the mix of all this, I came across envy, for Geoffrey having gone snow boarding and having fun ( Freed and I am not). Then I told myself maybe, instead of concentrating on my feelings, I should “see that the whole problem is because of “me” my being” so I should concentrate on getting rid of “me”, instead of trying to get rid of my feelings – and I said maybe I am fooling myself and trying to get away from applying the method correctly ( judging myself ?) .
Leila is translating Richard’s article on man/woman relationship and states how one should shine a light on feelings and be exposed to them, I guess? I came up with the analogy of Us Humans having been exposed to hidden ( like Wifi ) feelings that we can not stand nor understand, we try to avoid them, hide them and run away from them. They scare us, make us uncomfortable and reactionary. Maybe only by staying in the hidden “Wifi Field” of were these feelings are generated and being able to tolerate the discomfort ( dread, hello Hennrrrrrry ), we might be able to discover or develop tolerance or eliminate the source of these Hidden Fields.
The reason I am writing all of these is that fear, unhappiness and dread has been a common theme in my life ( and I have such a rush of bad feelings in all my body writing this now). But maybe I need to face this.
I try to feel good by breathing exercise of { breathing in “feeling happy” , breathing out “feeling good” – this maybe a suggestion for @Andrew ? when he is feeling overwhelmed ), but maybe I am trying to paste feeling good on not feeling good?
To summarize, I am having a hard time feeling good ( ordinary feeling good). I feel so vulnerable and weak, that everything has to be good and no problems, no discomfort, no pain, no worries that then I can be relaxed. I am feeling some shame that I relate these feelings, but I can not control them, so I have decided to expose them and share them.
I feel a little better now, trying to Enjoy and Appreciate Experiencing the Universe ( my body and things around me), at this moment. And I think I do have sincere intent, otherwise I would not be thinking about this stuff all day, and wouldn’t be worried about not feeling good. Thanks for allowing this space for me.
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For all of us, the key is how “non-descript” the entry point is.
I have always wanted that cathartic release!
The idea of feeling good whilst emptying the trash or doing my taxes, of otherwise living a normal down to earth existence of no particular significance… Well, a neurotic like me ain’t having any of that!!!
Feeling good, is firstly, very, extremely, natural. It is happening all the time.
It’s non-glorious, unremarkable, nothing to write home about, normal well being that happens in between the obsession to continue to suffer.
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Thanks @Andrew that is really helpful. Maybe @claudiu could elaborate for us here when he has a chance .
I think a part of the problem of being an ‘good’ actualist is that one feels that one is supposed to feel ‘good’ and that something is wrong when one isn’t. This mentality in itself can probably create a sort of block or an repressive mentality, in an effort to achieve a feeling good state of mind - for the sake of one’s ‘good-actualist-self-image’.
I’m not sure it helps, but in my own case I try to bring a sense of interest/fun/curiosity to the ‘digging into’ (being aware of) really bad feelings - feelings I’d rather run away from. I do this since I have often found that I keep fighting them in a subtle way, even though I just try to ask HAIETMOBA: “I don’t want to feel this way” etc.
Usually when I manage to do this with complete sincerity, it’s much easier to feel really bad lol (I know it’s not the method, but if you’re feeling really bad, why not be at ease with it?) And when you’re at ease with it, I find that the feelings slowly starts to morph into something else - something more enjoyable.
I often check my HAIETMOBA (checking my sincerity). For instance: “Am I monitoring my feelings so that I can get rid of them (change them) or because I’m geniunely curious of HAIETMOBA?”
I want to adopt a sort of attitude of ‘wanting’ to be aware and to feel whatever I feel (“I am my feelings and my feelings are me.”) - to even have fun with it! I want to be whatever I feel without trying to change it, to avoid spliting myself into ‘two’, then having one part wanting to change this other bad part.
It’s all me…
I want ‘change’ to happen by itself. I feel that I can’t force it. I can only try to be ‘willing/allowing’ - to submit myself to the process of having the light of ‘bodily-awareness’ directed at ‘me’ all day long…
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Hi Frank,
As you are able to feel happy at times during the day, then you have the perfect entry point into applying the method - those times when you are feeling happy!
So while you are feeling happy - enjoy and appreciate it! And recognize that feeling happy in and of itself is simultaneously an awareness of how you are experiencing this moment of being alive - namely , happily .
If you are actively aware (in an intuitive manner) if feeling happy , then , as soon as feeling happy stops - you are aware that you are no longer feeling happy, simply by virtue of not feeling happy anymore.
As soon as this happens, the thing to do is to have this trigger an alert or alarm for you, that it’s time to see what precisely happened.
If you find you are feeling neutral — then go back and see what specifically caused feeling happy to stop. The sooner you do this after noticing the diminishment, the easier it will be. And then see if you can see it as silly - is it worth letting that specific thing take away from feeling happy? If you see it as silly then you’ll be back to feeling happy. If you can’t then no worries, just “set it aside” and restart the method from when you next find yourself feeling good.
(And if you instead find you’re feeling bad as opposed to neutral after the trigger, then get back to neutral before trying to identify the trigger.)
By successfully doing so you prolong the feeling happy for a longer and longer period of time. And then it’s just a matter of repeatedly doing it and getting better at it.
———
I wouldn’t try to get rid of either feelings or of ‘me’ per se. Rather if you’re in the depths of feeling bad then do whatever you can to get back to happy, first - even just waiting. Then, while you are feeling happy - give it a try then to investigate the issues that come up while you’re feeling bad!
I hope this helps,
Claudiu
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For the past 3-4 days, “I” was trying to enjoying and appreciating this moment ( but I was very unsuccessful and feeling miserable about this inability and also in general). Then it dawned on me this morning ( around 5:30 am ), that the basic feeling good @geoffrey ( which “I” was skipping) is the basic of eaatmoba.
And when this morning, I re-allowed feeling good, the eaatmoba came about by itself.
But for clarification and being honest with myself I ask here if what i am doing make sense or even ok or not?( “I” am not easily willing to give this up, btw)
Here it goes:
I try to be aware of how “I” feel, by paying attention to my lower belly area( area of naivete) and if there is anxiety or unease, I try to “clean” it (use the “tools”) to get to feeling good again. I also bring up “Happy feeling” from my lower belly to my head with inhalation and, take “feeling good” from my head to my lower belly. ( kind of like chakra stuff, but I am not too familiar with nor have I practiced that in the past in any significant way).
And this immediately brings me back to feeling good .
I did this, this morning and for about 20 minutes or more( i am not sure how long it was, i.e. there was less time awareness) I was feeling very giddy and jovial, with some slight body movement, something that I had not experienced or that i can not remember experiencing before.
I feel like I can “look for” the sincere intent and some naivete and haietmoba, in the lower belly area; and a feeling of warmth, trust and everything is safeness ( lesser need to fight the world ) can be found there for me.
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This is very helpful and interesting John, thank you for sharing, I can concur with what you are expressing here. Sincerity, Accepting and Allowing are the key concepts here, I think.
I like the ‘bodily-awareness’ a lot by the way
Thank you @claudiu for sharing so generously, I learn something new every time I have read your stuff 