I have been applying the method in the most basic way possible. Truly back to basics. It’s just about as feeling good as much as possible atm.
I have some big ticket issues - that whole stress/burnout thing is the main one. I find it nigh on impossible to get out of it when I’m there. It’s like im “locked” in a sympathetic nervous system state that no amount of feeling my feelings or intending to feel good seems to dissolve.
But inevitably I do feel good at some point again (socialising really helps me feel good again) and I look back at why I got triggered and just stay feeling as good as long as I can. I’d say it’s not necessarily just about individual triggers, I think it’s also about my whole modus operandi, my approach to life entirely. I obviously have a long term habit of using intensity/will/drive to accomplish what I see as my goals, and actualism became a way to do that 24-7 with deleterious consequences.
Feeling good is happening more though and indeed feels “not of my doing”, it has a beneficiary quality to it and my thoughts and approach (and visual perception) totally changes when there. Sometimes it verges on magical or I can feel that the actual is there. It’s only from feeling good that it happens. It’s amazing how easy things become at that point. It feels very healthy and really good, like saying “bye bye problems” haha.
The burnout state on the other hand is like having my hand on a hot stove. It’s hard to think clearly in it. It promotes very short term and negative thinking and there is a generalised anxiety to it. From there, “everything is wrong” but there is no sense to it and no clear way to fix things. It feels as if there were only problems; infinite problems ; and that my life consists of a painstaking, desperate and totally failed attempt to overcome these obstacles. I can feel a literal “burn” like my whole nervous system is totally tense.
If I make it sound very binary it is quite like that atm.
I am either in one state or the other usually.
Another thing I’m realising has caused a lot of undue stress is the way I’m living life generally. I put myself in a situation where I fully committed to trying to become free, whilst not giving myself anything to “hold on to” in the real world - the things that ordinarily would help people feel good or not feel anxiety. For example; having a stable place to live, steady relationships, a normal steady job etc etc. I’ve got some bad habits since becoming an actualist of running from responsibilities, trying to avoid problems and stress, procrastinating etc which are silly and it creates more problems than it fixes. So im also looking at some of those practical things.
Cutting out a lot of the actualist identity stuff has helped - it’s made me a beginner again but that’s also a blessing as real change is happening.