Hey @Vineeto
It’s funny because my message was about taking a direct route and avoiding a clean up.
But ever since that PCE I have been doing nothing but clean up and it’s fantastic.
I can’t make declaratory statements about exactly what’s happening, but I am in a totally new phase of discovering freedom.
I actually think this is paving the way for virtual freedom - I seem to be successfully eliminating anxiety, which at root is what has held myself and my identity in place so punitively all these years.
It’s quite amazing. When I read about Richard eliminating anger some years ago, I didn’t see how he did it. And so I didn’t do anything similar.
I understand @scout when he says that asking HAIETMOBA seems to have increased anxiety. Of course anything that is not in the direction of happy and harmless is not the method, but I do understand how the identity misappropriates the method and mucks it all up big time.
Reading what you recently wrote about control really helped - reinforcing that it’s not my fault if I get triggered and I don’t have to stamp it out like a fire or something haha. This “allowance” of what is is key to freedom I think.
Another thing that has really helped is understanding the difference between different feeling states and using feeling good as a comparative measure. By that I mean, when feeling good, I look back at previous emotional struggles I had a day or two earlier and ask what it was about.
It’s starting to really make sense that to feel anxious is so silly - it adds absolutely nothing and only brings its own problems. But it wouldn’t have been enough just to call it silly - it’s the familiarity with feeling good which is the mop that cleans everything up.
If feeling anxious was making unwell, which it was, feeling happy and harmless is making me well - and it feels great to feel that happening also.
I haven’t been throwing down any gauntlets to myself re self immolation; I’m enjoying the journey of progress so to speak for now 