I had a fair amount of success at the end of year, last day bbq.
Due to having gotten drunk and in a emotional situation with the directors after the official end of year party, (i had cried openly in front of them after almost quitting when arguing with them… Longish story), i had become far more myself in situations at work, and there was that trust which comes when men go through some fire together.
The feeling of naivete, along with being far more comfortable in areas of attraction / repulsion which otherwise would have previously had me protecting myself, i was easily able to joke and play with the whole group as we sat at the back of the building under the patio.
Naivete is a super power.
It’s strangely linked to the disgust realisations for last week.
When there is naivete, the people (in my case especially women) i would not have found attractive, are suddenly attractive. There is the simple and plain fact that i am male, and they are female and we could have fun together sexually if we chose to.
The diminishment of my social identity is somewhat paradoxical here.
I remember how much better, in a narcissistic way, i felt about myself when my partner is objectively beautiful. How much worse i felt, narcissistically speaking, when my partner is not as attractive, or average.
Naivete blows all that away.
I am whatever i am, and the difference i see in how people reacted to me at the party was night and day.
When i was previously denying the feeling of disgust, i was cut off from half or more of the world. Recognition of the experience of naivete is golden.
People are these interesting things. Women are what they are. Not extensions of my social identity. Things to acquire to be someone. To avoid, to not be unattractive as they may be. But people. People i could have fun with at many levels. From philosophical ponderings, to the bedroom if that was a sensible option.
The owner, who is an interesting man to say the least, was so much more open with me. There is as @claudiu says, those who are open to Naivete, and those more closed.
There are some who will come out to play, and those less inclined.