VERY “INTENSE” PCE (but not really ‘intense’)
Had that experience of experiencing that rich or magic thing that I don’t have a word for. Delight don’t do it justice… ‘intrinsic joy of experiencing’ maybe but ‘joy’ doesn’t work. Just that richness that Is THERE as part of being conscious (?)
And infinitude was part of it! I experienced that the universe was infinite and that this joy or delight came from that somehow. Informed me of it. It could go forever!
I am not ‘part of’ or ‘in’ the universe… (actual) I IS the infinite universe, experiencing itself, AS a human .
Just went with continuing to go into and experience that more. Seemed potentially infinite. Utter joy. And!! While showering. The delight was NOT a reaction to the senses! The pleasure of the senses didn’t affect’ it somehow.
TRULY UNCONDITIONAL. It was there regardless. Within that unconditionality (not even affected by such pleasurable things) there is the experience of the pleasure of the senses, where ‘delight’ now becomes a more appropriate term. Joy and delight in the pleasure of warm water and soap etc. But it didn’t affect the richness-magic-meaning-joy experience (me?) at all! It (me?) was there regardless. Apperceptive ? ?
I did not even realise until a few minutes after that it was a PCE, until ‘I’ came back. Then I saw that the “me” that I was just being, the actual me, was not this ‘me’ that ‘I’ am as a feeling-being. It’s a different me. But literally I didn’t notice this as I went from regular me to actual me. It was like I was just continuing to exist but now in a better way. But then ‘feeling-being-me’ came back and I saw ‘I ‘wasn’t that. ‘I’ do really have to ‘die’ for that to happen… even though i didn’t notice ‘my’ disappearance? WTF …
And the thought: “well look at me, I learned something today… because i was actually doing something and not just reading or thinking about it :D”