To add to Vineeto’s excellent answer — I had one very distinctive PCE where I actually apperceived the actually-existing infinitude of the universe. I wrote about it here:
To contrast, here’s the report of your experiences:
I place them here side by side so you can juxtapose clearly the “immense agitation and disorientation” of one report vs the “rich or magic thing”, “intrinsic joy of experiencing”, “ the universe was infinite and that this joy or delight came from that somehow”, “Seemed potentially infinite. Utter joy.” and “the richness-magic-meaning-joy experience” of the other.
In other words, a genuine apperception of the infinitude does not come with agitation and disorientation but rather is more along the lines of the latter.
What you write of “raw, unadulterated panic” sounds very much like ‘me’ responding to the awareness that this infinitude exists and renders ‘me’ meaningless. A sort of existential angst triggered by this realization. Yet it’s not a PCE — it is ‘me’ reacting to and essentially objecting to this, fighting against it as best ‘I’ can by throwing up an aversive fear response.
The PCE itself occurs when ‘I’ am absent, at which point you (now actual you) can experience the full richness and delight that actuality actually is. And then you will wonder what the fuss is about! Up until ‘you’ come back and then start objecting again haha.
I echo what Vineeto wrote at the end: this isn’t to denigrate you or your experiences but rather to help guide so you can make the best use of them.