Claudiu's Journal

[claudiu]

@Kub933

@Vineeto

Is the “feeling driven” a close cousin to the “‘gung-ho yeah!!’ self” – a diversion from that funny feeling in the belly when anxiousness sets in? If so, I can recommend to stay with that ‘funny feeling’ as long as you dare, without fighting it or expressing it as being driven (both options give the anxiousness extra energy), and experiment a bit. This will reduce the intensity and ‘whoosh’, you are back to feeling good.

Hehe this is a cool way of describing ‘my’ anxiety - “a funny feeling in the belly when anxiousness sets in”, doesn’t sound so serious when you put it this way

Hehe I feel it more like something in my chest than the belly

It is interesting to stay with it and suss it out. Intrinsic to it is a desire to look away from it. I was able to see it that the effect of fear is for me to look away from the fear, and then as soon as I look away from it now it’s driving me to do this or that (being driven definitely stems from fear, I can see this clearly). So perhaps I just have to not look away

At some point recently (before the ~24hr experience) while experiencing pure intent I also saw and was enjoying allowing pure intent into the ‘knot’ of me that I experience. It was like allowing pure intent to waft through all my nooks and crannies. It felt very nice!