Claudiu's Journal

[claudiu]

@claudiu

Actually what it ‘really’ is is ‘just’ an underlying feeling of aggression. This clear seeing is remarkably refreshing and removes any moral weight from it (as in I am a ‘bad’ person for feeling this way). And then I see it’s actually just a choice whether to continue being aggressive or not.

I think I am still missing some step between the instinctual passion of aggression and:

@Vineeto

You see, in whatever form the instinctual passion is happening, be they desire, nurture (compassion/passionate caring) or fear, you need to fully feel and embrace your ‘being’ and fully experienced it as what ‘you’ are in order to be harnessed and channelled for your goal, else any attempt to ‘self’-immolate will be still-born or evade side-ways.

and

@Vineeto

Again, ‘I’ will not agree to become extinct because it’s a sensible idea or because the alternative is “ultimately dissatisfying”. ‘I’ need to be fully and passionately on board and for that ‘I’, the passionate ‘me’ as well as the sensible ‘me’ need to take part in the final decision as a passionately felt decision.

Richard’s report of sitting with it seems apt with minor modifications only, so I will go on this direction, e.g. instead of ‘fear’ it would be ‘aggression’ because I do really want to know, once and for all, what this aggression is which drives human beings for millennia into the horrible things we get up to on a regular basis on a global scale