Claudiu's Journal

Oh there was one part of it that was very strange. Not sure what to make of it. While climbing up a rock wall I experienced it as two “me” being active at the same time. There was the actual me that was climbing up the wall and having a blast and being aware of being the actual me. And then there was this sort of seemingly-faux inchoate identity-me which was wondering about whether it was actual freedom and what happened.

It was like two “I” were simultaneously active at the same time. It was a bit jarring and rather strange. But also the experience could smoothly adjust to being one I or the other, depending on what “I” (but which I??) would focus on or go towards.

I thought at the time maybe it was how being newly free is experienced and this was the guardian or something, remnants of identity like this. Now I’m not sure what it was, I wasn’t actually free so it definitely wasn’t that. But it wasn’t a PCE because the feeling-being me was apparently there… but I don’t think I was mistaken about the experience of the actual me being apperceptively aware of myself. But I’m not sure how that can be since it wasn’t a PCE.

It is very strange and not sure what to make of it, but thought I’d report it and see if @Vineeto has any feedback :slightly_smiling_face:

Either way now that things have normalized the path forward is clear again !

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