What it seems to really come down to is just the simple seeing that it is a choice!
It’s a choice of how I want life to be lived. Either as an actually free person (as pointed towards by the increasingly familiar and increasingly astounding purity), or as a feeling being (as pointed towards by feeling of being literally that which serves only to detract from and hinder said purity, the very fear or trepidation itself is me, is this choice!)
And it’s not a dramatic or a hectic thing. It’s something to calmly and still-ly observe and be aware and conscious of, this choice. A matter of allowing things to slow down so that the choice becomes clear — that it is a choice, and what the choice is, specifically who I am that I am giving myself up
And the funny thing is that clearer the choice, the clearer that there is no choice! In the sense that one choice is so obviously superior to the other that it’s obvious which is the choice to be made, no deliberation is needed.
Really seems to just come down to this. Everything else, wondering about the end of me or fear of leaving the herd or ideals or morals or this or that, is just distractions ‘I’ throw up to obscure the fact that it comes down to this simple and obvious choice.