I see it as like how does a PCE actually happen? ‘I’ don’t hold ‘myself’ in the forefront and focus on temporarily disappearing. Rather ‘I’ allow the PCE to happen by going in the direction of actuality (which ends up with actual me becoming temporarily apparent).
So too similarly with self-immolation — I go towards actuality with the intent of ending ‘me’, that it will be ‘my’ demise, a permanent ending of ‘me’ instead of temporarily. But practically it is a seamless transition between two worlds — brought about by being willing to go into that sweetness / giving myself up for that sweetness (to combine from a few reports of people succeeding).
Indeed ‘me’ going into actuality doesn’t make sense. But “going into the direction of actuality” seems to experientially work