It’s weird, to experience this ultimate preciousness and how it is available now, it is so profound for ‘me’ that ‘I’ cannot help but feel some kind of sorrow, with tears coming up. I remember this would happen over and over before I had my first PCE, that sorrow would block ‘me’ from going into abeyance just as ‘I’ was on the verge of it happening. Eventually ‘I’ got done with this pattern and the PCE happened. It’s like ‘I’ finally decided / developed the confidence to allow only perfection, whereas this sorrow (which could easily flip into beauty) although seeming very meaningful, it was like ‘my’ last line of defence.
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