I am a little confused. Yesterday I saw that I can rely on pure intent / the purity - it is reliable. And ever since then I appear to be experiencing that purity on a continuous basis , that that connection is always active, each second of the day. Yet I still find myself feeling bad on occasion , like I’ve experienced boredom , and annoyance at my dogs for pulling on the leashes. Yet there is still the backdrop of purity. Like this feeling bad doesn’t seem to be a big deal - it doesn’t “get at me” in some core way the way it would before.
but it is weird because I would think that with the purity readily available I would be able to more rapidly get to feeling good again
But then again even though I’m feeling a bad feeling it seems I’m basically enjoying being alive anyway. It is odd. I wonder if I’m dissociated somehow 
the other thing would be that it’s existentially scary getting closer to selfnimmolating - which for ‘me’ is non-existence … even though when clear-headed I don’t see any reason to be afraid (as in it seems silly to fear such a thing when it is obviously just abundant purity )
Any advice @Srinath @geoffrey ? Does it sound familiar from any of your experiences ?