Chrono's Journal

[cross.chrono]

@Vineeto

This “impression” may be believed to be true but it is not a fact. The many questions Richard answered from his ongoing experience regarding delighting in sexual congress without any libido bear witness to the incredulity of his correspondents that sexual enjoyment required the presence of libido (link). It is my own intimate personal experience as well that libido is not at all required for optimum enjoyment of sexuality – on the contrary it had only been in the way of perfect ongoing intimacy.

Hi Vineeto,

I can readily see that it gets in the way of intimacy, but I have been contemplating how can this powerful drive be utilized. It’s been difficult to contemplate outside of the opposites in regards sexual desire. Initially there’s even a small sense of shame in wanting to completely indulge in it. I found your post with Richard’s expanded description of the way towards sexual congress happening of its own accord very illuminating. Part of me is actually in disbelief that sex can even be that good haha. What stood out to me the most though and perhaps may serve as a line of demarcation in my approach was this:

Now, the way to have intimacy unfold, in all its luscious wonder, is to be aware all the while (with that unique human ability to be conscious of being sentient) that your sexual partner likes being with you so much that they are willing to spend their most valuable asset – their time – not only being with you but having you inside them/ having them inside you (dependent upon gender) for this most physically intimate way of associating possible.
In other words one is always aware, with that second-level awareness, all the while primary consciousness is sexually engrossed, just how precious this opportunity is as – out of all 3.0 billion women/ out of all 3.0 billion men (dependent upon gender) – this fellow human being has chosen you, and only you, to be so intimately entwined with. In short: having sex/ being intimate with her/ with him (dependent upon gender) is very special – so special as to be precious – and this very preciosity readily enables giving oneself completely to one’s partner – totally and utterly – during sexual congress.
All this while the hands, fingers, lips, tongue and eyes can roam all about with much delicious kissing, nibbling, nuzzling, fondling, smelling, listening, tasting, touching, looking and all the rest which such a physical embrace, such physical proximity so exquisitely provides for; the neck below the ear-lobe, for instance, is an especial delight and to eventually indulge in never-ending open-mouthed kissing – at the heights of sexual arousal – is to be breathing each other’s breath in a most personal way of gradually depriving the brain of oxygen as to even further increase both arousal and intimate contact (togetherness, closeness, sweetness, richness, actuality).

It sounds weird to say, but it’s this appreciation of my partner in this way that I find to be a new direction. And he also uses the word ‘preciosity’, which exact word has come to my mind when I’ve experienced the sweetness of this moment before. The same preciosity that I want to experience again. Sexual desire on its own has a disregard about it that may be the reason why it needs to be kept in check. I’ll try all of this next time and see! I might need to work on my ability to ‘hover indefinitely on that orgastic plateau which precedes an orgasm’ . I’m wondering if that ability would also be of any use even if one was by oneself .

@Vineeto

It seems you are ready to deliberate and explore the social conditioning of your gender identity of what you, and society, considers “being a ‘man’”. There are lots of beliefs and unspoken rules and all are unhelpful to both happiness/ harmlessness or delightful harmony and intimacy with a person of the other gender. It’s worth keeping in mind that what you see is a consequence of the tried and failed spiritual legacy of both Western and Eastern religions.

Some information is collected in Basic to Full Freedom, #man-woman-identity and more in Richard’s Journal, Article Two as well as the Actual Freedom Library on those topics with their respective selected correspondence links.

I am still reading over much of the correspondence so I will reflect on it as I finish.

@Vineeto

It’s interesting to note that contemplating “what it means to be ‘compassionate’” has triggered this “huge immense fear about what I am doing by trying to becoming free”. Compassion is one of the stalwarts to keep you trapped within humanity, and contemplating to do without appeared a dangerous and therefore impossible direction to proceed.

Yes there was in the deepest part of the fear a complete and almost unbearable loneliness. Compassion perhaps keeps me connected to others and provides as an antidote for it in some way as well. Not that any of that will stop me haha. As you said, there may need to be a digestion period.

It’s very funny that this topic of everyone basically being spiritual should come up. Just a few days ago I was talking with my partner after viewing an incredible image of distant galaxies about how spirituality had infiltrated science (or always had?). The reason of course being the inherent bias in ‘being’ itself. The universe itself is being viewed self-centrically.

@Kub933

Just to add to the above, it is that impression of being present and existing over time as an ‘entity’ which is the source of ‘my’ belief in immortality. Belief doesn’t seem quite right here as ‘I’ don’t actually believe that ‘I’ will persist after this body dies, it’s more like a fundamental impression.

Aaand to add some more , I remember when I first read Richard’s writings years ago I thought “why on earth would ‘he’ have given up immortality for actual freedom”, immortality seemed precious. Whereas now this is the other way around, in that ‘I’ am happily searching for a way to become extinct, ‘my’ immortality has been exposed for what it is - suffering, and it is the possibility of ‘my’ extinction which is now precious.

I would also add that the delusion of immortality itself is due to the dominant aspect of ‘being’ as selfism. That is, to survive at all costs. This is what ‘being’ has been charged with by Blind Nature. The once in a lifetime decision to begin the process to undo ‘me’ is altruism. Richard was only able to get out of the delusion of immortality due to having the ‘magic elixir’ by the bucket load (pure intent) and furthering that process by allowing it to take ‘him’ to ‘his’ destiny. I assume this informed him of the deception happening as well. So ‘being’ is beyond merely a passing belief (you can’t think your way out of it). It’s a complete arrogating and possession of this flesh and blood body. So the question is, are you experiencing this pure intent? What’s in the way of a complete allowing of it? To let it live your life. If not why not?