We currently have Sonya’s parents visiting us here in the UK. I work from home and my PC set up is in the living room where they are currently chilling out. When I woke up this morning I had this initial feeling/thought of “oh shit” - because it may not look particularly cool or glamorous when I am dealing with particularly difficult customers on the phone (as I work in customer service). They are rather successful career wise and I have very much always gone in the other direction or “making do” with my work situation.
Either way the point is that allowing this situation to pan out how it will is scary for ‘me’, there is no way to tell what they will think, how they will react etc Or maybe (what is more likely) it is all just a big furphy of ‘mine’. But the point is that I will not know the answer to this until I step into that unknown. That is I proceed naively and allow this thing to pan out how it will.
Perhaps something similar might be beneficial to your thing of “having to feel bad for the sake of others”, as in at some point it may be beneficial to dip your toes into that unknown and find out what will actually happen, you might be surprised. At the very least it will be a thrilling adventure to actually find out, rather than remaining in the prison cell of the hopes, fears, beliefs etc.
Update :
One of them is passed out and snoring on the sofa and the other is busy scrolling their phone, clearly neither of them are concerned with whatever ‘I’ had spun in ‘my’ head/heart 