Charging up

Actualism
1

So this is something weird that has been going on for a while now and I wonder if any of you have had similar experiences.

Basically I notice this pattern in myself - I will go through a few days of feeling very tired, like my mind is processing too much and I just need lots of naps and down time. Usually right after the naps I wake up experiencing ‘me’ quite minimised, there is like a sparkling clarity and lightness.

At times (like was the case this weekend) this eventually leads to a very intense pressure building up in the nape of my neck, it can get pretty intense to the point of being quite painful. The pressure pain itself does not tend to last more than a day and the following day I find myself waking up once more experiencing heightened levels of this sparkling clarity.
Sometimes it gets to a point where as I am having my morning coffee and cigarette the experience of the world around gets too overwhelming (like too much all at once), this can sometimes cause ‘me’ to come back even stronger or other times (as did this weekend) I find myself experiencing actuality.

I have tried to cross reference these things with other things going on in my life but I cannot really link it to anything else.

The tiredness used to worry me as I thought I might be sick but I feel great in general and it seems to come in waves, also the experience of it is just my mind feeling like it is overloaded, my body feels absolutely fine.

The weird pressure pains also seem not to correlate with anything else, it has happened at times when I did not eat or drink much that day but then it happened at other times when I was well fed, rested etc. This recent one happened right after a New Years party so I thought it might be some kind of hang over but I was actually extremely tame this year so there was no hang over to be had really.

What it seems to me is like my brain is somehow charging up :laughing:

So this weekend it went through this pattern of - few days of tiredness - 1 day of building pressure pain - then waking up feeling great (with no tiredness or pressure pain) and ‘me’ somewhat minimised. Initially when I was having the morning cigarette and coffee it all got too much and ‘I’ began coming in stronger with passions mounting but then as I noticed this and went upstairs for a bath ‘I’ ended up going into abeyance. It was a very long PCE, maybe 2 hours altogether although ‘I’ would come back slightly and then go into abeyance again.

1 Like
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Yeah I experience something similar from time to time, typically related to when I’m having big realizations and/or periods of greater clarity

I can’t say much about it beyond that, other than at times it has been frustrating as I felt the actual world was imminent only to be slingshotted back into ‘me.’

It may have something to do with the brain acclimatizing gradually to the experience of perfection, as in ‘too much too soon’

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The only other time when something similar has happened for me was when I first moved from Poland to England. I was about 12 at the time and did not know English so the first couple of years were not only a cultural shock but also my brain was exposed constantly to a new language.

I remember very often getting headaches and getting extremely tired pretty much every day (I would constantly sleep in class lol) which I think was to do with my brain moulding to the new environment and language.

I wonder if this is something along similar lines.

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Nowadays when I’m getting that sense of overwhelm, I just sleep a lot and use periods of half-awake to do a lot of investigating emotions & issues

I’ve found doing that a lot more interesting than any other ‘fun’ activity I can think of. It’s satisfying & thrilling to be inching closer to my destiny

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Haha interesting I find myself doing something similar!

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