I’d go with your ultimate feeling. If you’re feeling like a “bad actualist” you may be doing something right. Then again, if you feel like a “bad actualist” because you keep giving in to the impulse to attack random people in the street, then better for everyone that you go back to trying to be a “good actualist.”
Makes SENSE 
thx
Have you really been all these at some point?
Could you give a chronology?