Here’s the reason why this never sat well with me: While “I” remain so obsessed about “myself” (e.g.: worrying about my feelings, as with this woman from November, and thus being serious), how can I care to consider others? Doing so would be like putting lipstick on a pig (link).
A sorrowful ‘me’ cannot genuinely care about others.
Heck, even an euphoric ‘me’ cannot care! I’ll explain below:
I recently got to dvelve further into the fear[1] Vineeto queried me about, because those euphoria-cum-fear resurfaced after I once again messaged her (in vain) … this time being willing to be ‘caring & sharing’ (as she had put it). This time, however, I was no longer afraid to face those feelings, so I took a good look at them. Right after I messaged her (and during the hours before she would delete it so as to move on):
- Libido fired at first. Full on arousal around (if not at) the sexual center
- Later on, that fire existed only as the swirling romantic euphoria atop (belly area)
- Eventually (and for the first time), this euphoria took a life of its own and was no longer associated with ‘her’ (which association was responsible for fear and loneliness as she doesn’t reciprocate the feelings), so it felt rather pleasant and ‘stable’. If I was a spiritual guru, this could have well been a gateway to ‘unconditional love’ to attract followers.
Whatever ‘caring’ and ‘sharing’ I would have now enacted with her would have been to ultimately prolong and satisfy these euphoric feelings! Women instinctively know this (there’s more to it than sexual desire, per se), and thus unwittingly exploit men.
It is simply impossible to be caring and considerate of women, in a genuine sense, as long as this affectional intimacy remains the main spanner in the works.
I find it quite interesting how men who have a track-record of high sexual success on this matter (to the point of finding sex boring; link) still depend emotionally on this affectional intimacy, for instance:
[Tate]: So what can a girl give you? Happiness, vibes! Always smiling. Take the edge off a stressful life. (link)
Yet, there are others, like Elon Musk, who are rather non-plussed about it, which perhaps explains their success in life:
[Elon Musk]: If I actually wanted to spend my time partying with young women, it would be trivial for me to do so without the help of a creepy loser like Epstein and I would still have 99% of my mind available to think about other things.
But I don’t. (link)
Anyway, I originally came here to post a realization: I finally realized the benefit of not being so self-obsessed, and this only came from my contemplation of PCE. In allowing PCEs (link), the focus is rather sensate and on the world at large. In other words, not on ‘me’ at all (link). Ergo, the same applies in regards to interactions with people; being ‘self’-obsessed or ‘self’-focused (thus serious) is rather painful, whereas taking note of and delighting in the world of people, things and events (which naturally includes taking interest in others) is what transpires naturally as I seek to evince the PCE now. It solves all problems. And I get to find out things about other people, they seem to enjoy it … overall a pleasant state of affairs. No moral forcing is necessary.
PCE is the key, everything else is such a gas.
cf. Vineeto’s “perhaps your first inquiry is about what was so terrible, so frightful in this past experience, and why” in the post linked above. ↩︎