Andrew: Cringing is so very normal. Most people are cringing all the time. What I am posting about is the use of “narcissism” and “vanity” being conflated. (…)
But, instead of taking my word for it, perhaps the word of a self-described sociopath and grandiose narcissist (he says he ranks off the scale on both tests): Prof. Sam Vaknin. (…)
Hi Andrew,
You have tried ascribing psychiatric labels onto yourself before –
Andrew: First to the questions; has anyone looked into ADHD or has ADHD? (…) Watching a few videos, I really saw that the traits match my MO in many ways. (31 Dec 2025)
Now you found another identity-label, possibly also because Prof Vaknin has given you a valid narrative for your life to identify with. This paragraph describes what you seem to be living out at present –
Prof. Vaknin: The narcissist is doomed to roam a circular labyrinth. When he does achieve something – he demotes it in order to enhance his own sense of omnipotence, perfection, and brilliance. When he fails, he dares not face reality. He escapes to the land of no narratives where life is nothing but a meaningless wasteland. The narcissist whiles his life away. [Emphasis added]. (https://narcissistic-abuse.com/narcissistlifeshame).
It seems to be the case with your dipping your toe into actualism but never really getting involved/ making the first step to becoming more harmless and happy, and now you are reduced the “demoting” actualism and an actual freedom in no uncertain terms. It’s not only the reaction of a “clinical narcissist” but it’s a very common response when the grapes are hanging too high (as in Aesop’s fable) – I have seen this response many, many times before.
It simply means that the ‘self’-preservation of ‘Andrew’, the lost, lonely, frightened and very cunning identity, has found a way to save ‘his’ pride and give up nevertheless.
Andrew: It may pay to understand that an actual clinical narcissist doesn’t technically have an ego, and is thus not vain. (…)
As of now, I am not aware of any cure for NPD or ASPD. (link)
Ha … you now have the blessing and/or confirmation in your self-assessed psychiatric disorder to not even have to pretend to try to change human nature – it can’t be done. The irony is that this is exactly the reason philosophy and psychiatry are outdated.
Andrew: I realise actualism is proclaimed in the first line of the website as “It is possible to live in this modern era, freed from out-dated Philosophy and Psychiatry”, but I never saw anything about narcissism being “cured” in the clinical sense on the website. As in, the word is used in it everyday meaning whenever I have read anything on the site.
The clinical reality of the “disorder” is far more instructive than the way it is is lumped in with philosophy and metaphysics et al, on the website.
There is over 100 years of research into how the “normal” aspect of the psyche can manifest in the worst of human behaviour and create the worst of it. Objectification (whether sexual, or otherwise) at the early stages of life creates what Vaknin describes as an “imaginary friend” which ends up being the only self the victim ever develops.
To take it back to applicable usefulness: in what way have we created and maintained a false self from childhood because of objectification? (link)
After this declaration that your condition is incurable, I wonder what “applicable usefulness” your question has on this forum. Richard made it very clear in thousands of posts to hundreds of correspondents that ‘I’ am rotten to the core, irredeemably so, and that the only solution is to voluntarily leave the ‘self’ behind.
He also described and reported various tools, which have all been experientially proven to work, to incrementally diminish ‘me’ (the ‘good’ and ‘bad’ feelings) and be able to increasingly enjoy and appreciate being here. By the way, the first ‘case of narcissism’ (which he himself classified as institutionalised insanity) being cured by the actualism method was Richard himself –
Richard: I found out where I had been going wrong for eleven years … self-aggrandisement is so seductive. (Richard, AF List, No. 16, 8 Jan 2001).
Naturally, this suggestion of a solution, which diminishes ‘me’, is anathema to an avowed narcissist, self-confirmed by psychological and psychiatric literature, and possibly more inclined to self-centricity than most. And yet, there must be some inkling of doubt, else why would you write and try to convince/ convert others of your belief, and why would you ‘cringe’?
Andrew: Or, to put a more pointed “point” to my point:
The first line of the AFT proclaims that psychiatry is outdated. Yet, when those (and over the years I still remember some of the names) of those with genuine psychiatric conditions interact with the list, they are told that they should seek professional help.
So is psychiatry out-dated by actualism?
Not so far, on the whole.
Edit: [name deleted], there is a name you may not know. [psychiatric label deleted] lad who used to interact a lot on yahoo. Even had a few videos on YouTube at some point. there was also a bi-polar lady, I want to say [name deleted], or Layla, something with L. (link)
Now here is where narcissism (=self-love) demonstrates its extreme non-consideration for anyone else but ‘me’ (=malice). On the AFT the names on the mailing lists were deliberated anonymised out of consideration for people’s privacy (except for those requesting/ giving permission for their first name to be used) for the very reason that often private and delicate details were discussed when talking about the human condition and how to become free from it.
In your desire to pull everyone down to your level of suffering/self-centricity you are callously dragging those names and private details from previous mailing lists into the public forum (a troll-feature called cross-posting) to illustrate your point that psychiatry is not out-dated.
What you overlooked is that psychiatry/ psychology has never cured anyone permanently from malice and sorrow. An actual freedom lies beyond normal and abnormal, beyond sanity and insanity.
However, if you are convinced that philosophy and psychiatry are not “outdated” and have “over 100 years of research” at their disposal, why not put your money where your mouth is and engage one of their genre to help you (back) to “common human unhappiness” –
Richard: As for ‘undergoing treatment’ … psychiatric medication and psychological counselling are designed to bring those who are suffering from any of three main psychotic categories (Bi-polar Disorder, Schizophrenia and Clinical Depression) and any neurotic sub-categories, back to a state of as near-normal functioning as possible (and ‘normal’ is categorised by Mr. Sigmund Freud as ‘common human unhappiness’). No psychiatric or psychological treatment would meet what I was wanting – I was looking to go beyond both normal and abnormal – thus I was not seeking to ‘undergo treatment’ but rather to find out, experientially (as I did in other fields) what was the extent and range of other human’s experience and solutions.
Psychology and psychiatry has failed just as dismally as philosophy and spirituality. (Richard, List B, Gary, 23 Sep 1999).
Chrono reported last year after personal experience with this genre –
Chrono: I went to counsellors and therapists and it did help but only in a ‘keeping my head above water’ kind of way. (25 Oct 2025)
You probably already know what Richard is saying on the topic –
Respondent: It is a privilege to work in a field that interests oneself.
Richard: Be that as it may … as psychology/ psychiatry has not brought, is not bringing, and will not bring, peace-on-earth, then nothing that a psychological/ psychiatric approach has to offer has, is, or will, be of use/ be of service to a person setting foot on the wide and wondrous path to an actual freedom from the human condition. (Richard, AF List, No. 68b, 1 Dec 2004).
Should you ever grow tired of whiling your life away with psychologising, philosophising and justifying why you are the way you are right now, you can decide to start extracting yourself of the mess you find yourself in. It means, however, that you have to really, really want to do it, actively and practically, to the point of getting obsessed with finding a way out of the mess both your instinctual passions and your socialisation have placed you in.
It can be done.
Cheers Vineeto