Andrew

[claudiu]

@JonnyPitt

@claudiu Quick note sir. Self-immolation is bandied about here as if one can do it on a whim with little to no awareness of what they’re doing.

Who has bandied about self-immolation in this manner? I haven’t seen anything I would characterize like this.

@claudiu

@Andrew

I guess that is me now. Some whipper snapper can get pissed at me for wasting my opportunity.

Why waste your opportunity?

As in, why continue to be “some old guy with undisturbed poetic ability to fuck up, and otherwise write about it forever” – instead of being happy and harmless, naive, likable and liking, etc., enjoying and appreciating this moment of being alive – as that is both enjoyable and is what will allow self-immolation to occur – and thus not wasting one’s opportunity.

@claudiu

@Andrew

Somehow I have missed the draft.

You may have missed it before, but do you need to keep missing it now?

As in, one might have missed opportunity in the past – but the past is the past, it’s no longer actual. Just because one missed it in the past does not mean that one has to continue missing it now.

@claudiu

@Andrew

It’s all fading to black. The romance of doing something of significance, a vague memory.

Self-immolating to allow actual Andrew to become apparent, would certainly be significant. There may be no romance to it, but it’s certainly a wonderful thing isn’t it?

This is simply a statement of fact - that self-immolation would be significant. And contemplating and reflecting on it being a wonderful thing may very well lead to naivete coming back and erasing the “old guy with undisturbed poetic ability to fuck up”.

@claudiu

@Andrew

Now Alan is dead.

That Alan is also no more… but actual Alan never became fully apparent. Will actual Andrew ever do so?

And this is a pointed reminder to feeling-being Andrew that actual freedom is not guaranteed to occur. If we do not actively do it, it won’t happen. And it is very possible to pass away without doing it, as happened to Alan. Will Andrew let that happen? Will Jon? Will Claudiu? . I wish now that there was an actualist called William so I could write “Will Will?”

There are only two answers to the question of, say, “Will Claudiu?” of course – either I self-immolate in which case the answer is “no”, or I die before that happens in which case the answer is “yes”. Either way when it happens it will be now, as it is always now.

But I was not suggesting that “one can do it on a whim”, and certainly not “with little to no awareness of what they’re doing” – from everything I can see it requires completely and full awareness of what is doing. Rather I was offering prompts and queries that can lead someone to direct their contemplations in a propitious direction.