Hi Vineeto,
I did not see that my sentences would indeed give someone the impression that I was labelling myself NPD or ASPD. It makes sense now that you have explained how it appeared to the reader. I was really taken aback, but I can see that indeed my lack of clear writing was the cause, not you jumping to diagnosis.
Today was a very beautiful sunny day, with plenty of walking time for me to think through why I was so insistent to make this particular point about the way psychiatry is lumped in with everything else in that first sentence of the AFT, and instructions to seek professional help are elsewhere.
I can see that the main clue is in what I later shared about the self-diagnosed “dependent personality” traits. I always had objections, but I could never compartmentalise them. I may appear to be a self with that capacity to direct my thoughts, one might sensibly not let a single point of disagreement ruin an entire friendship. I never really had that skill. It was all or nothing, and because I had supposedly found the answer, I manifested the types of reactions like yesterday. I try and change the messengers!
Now, do I think that the AFT is deficient? Yes. Because I think everything is deficient, precisely because I look to others to make the rules for me, to tell me what to do. So, while I doubt it’s clinical (one of the co-morbid symptoms is high degrees of manipulation in clinical dependence, which I don’t have)
Do I think, for the benefit of others some warning could be added? Sensibly, yes. If someone who should be getting therapy, get’s some therapy and otherwise then, as Richard suggests, can make something of actualism, great. That’s not a demand, I just don’t see psychiatry as being “outdated” when in fact, in possibly in my case and others, it was needed all along.
The defining trait that has let me be assured that I am not clinically disordered is empathy and compassion. These are typically very low in people with disorders. While I tend to be high in these areas, over my lifetime.
I will reiterate that I don’t have an objection to actual freedom, or the premises of the method, and the practice of it. I can see that I wasn’t able to seperate myself from the messengers words, whether Richard, Peter, yourself and others. Which is a classic symptom of dependence and stunted emotional skills.
The walk showed me that I need to continue to be as independent as possible. Making the most of my time within my own “space” mentally. That point is still unfolding for me, as having everything “lumped together” actualism, me, you, all the people over the years (I had briefly tried to help Guilherme back in the day) , others I mentioned like Rick, the forum, it all ends up being confusion and then after a while, it “explodes” out, in a way like it did yesterday.
So, deliberately taking my time, in my own space, and being able to develop that separation and maturity is what i saw was needed. Being able to experiment and value my own time.
Thanks
Andrew