Cheers Vineeto!
It really amazing that you picked up on my use of the word irony! I hadn’t spotted that indeed there was a “wryly amusing” aspect to it. I am pleased that I used the word, and it had that meaning, in that it was accurate to an extent for sure. There was also a general gladness that I had found it funny too, but it is accurate that there was a slightly cynical and self reproach in the humour.
The next day, which was yesterday, I had a very heavy time dealing with beauty, specifically I saw an old image of me, and waves of hatred and disgust swept over me. The coincidence of the previous days “nostalgia “ attack wasn’t lost on me, as these two, “nostalgia “ and “hating my looks” have been bubbling away unexamined for a very long while.
This is because I was not putting in the effort to make the method (the Actualism method, with all that implies) the number one thing in my life, so it makes sense that with my recent determination, these “elephant in the room” issues would march up to me and sit on my head! They were both my secret guilty indulgences. My favourite ways to keep being me.
I didn’t write anything yesterday as I hadn’t been able to really get back to a solid “feel good “. The working day was actually quite good though, and reading your message was so refreshing!
Time for a walk!
Cheers
Andrew