Thanks Vineeto,
I had never truly contemplated the now obvious parallel to the institutional disassociation described in the link to the AFT.
Wow!
Indeed, I went for a walk this morning and that was the theme, being completely ok with feeling whatever I am actually feeling! If I am afraid, nervous, and otherwise stressed, then so be it! I need to acknowledge fully that this is all me! As Geoffrey said in his report of becoming free, that it was him, not some ‘self’ with enough quotation marks as not to really be him, but him! The one thinking and feeling right now! (Paraphrased from memory).
Another little phrase I came up with “it doesn’t matter that I will most probably feel horrible or bad in the future, most probably a lot, and most probably for a long while, that doesn’t mean I have to feel bad in this moment “
This feels freeing from the ‘intellectual’ habit of giving up because it’s “all going to be taken away anyway “.
Which segues into the encouragement to have courage!
Anticipating pain usually means seeking to avoid it, however this imaginary pain, of ‘losing’ whatever joy or happiness I have now, shoots the baby, and tips out the bath water “just in case” I will be disappointed.
I have resolved that it’s ok to feel bad, for as long as it takes in any moment, to otherwise a) completely stop fighting myself b) take on board the the simplicity of the method; that is, it is only me who can chose what I am feeling, and I won’t be able to do that if I am busy fighting myself.