The idea occurred to me that this fear, the “immediate perfection complex” has to be something that a 2 year old would feel. None of the elaborate stories about art, or anything else can be the source.
If indeed it has anything to do with getting things “perfect” at all!
It could be anything, but it has to be something formed at and before 2 years old.
Potentially some sort of early false self imagination. That in the environment I was, all was scary?
It’s encouraging to simplify it all like this.