Hi Kuba,
More accurate assessments on your part about ‘me’!
Indeed, today I have been reflecting on many of the things that ‘I’ had used to continue being the ‘me’. There is no blaming though, which was also a continual habit. ‘I’ was a certain way, which is becoming much clearer, even as today has gone along. Letting a lot of the things I read today, which answered old objections, work there way into ‘me’, also realising that i could have just asked the questions a decade ago!
One that really had that feeling of freshness come back was reading this;
Richard; Just because there are no affections whatsoever it does not mean it is not possible to be (mentally) astonished, astounded, surprised, uncertain, baffled, puzzled, perplexed, nonplussed, and so on, on occasion.
Richard's Reports Regarding 30+ Months Severe Mental Agitation.
(Richard, Actual Freedom List, No. 106, 27 December 2005).
I still had an expectation that Actual Freedom was something more like a cosmic mind/intelligence. Not that I ever had that explicit thought, but it was still there. There was a lot that on reading it all again, from the “long awaited announcements “ and reports, that I now see I was fitting it all into a convoluted religio-spiritual devotee mindset. A mystic, if you will😉
Cheers
Andrew