Andrew: My day began in the usual way, tired, not looking forward to the freeway, but generally wanting to keep making a go at the actualism method and rid myself of this habit of intellectualising and mental culpicity in ‘my’ continued ‘existence’.
Driving in the peak hour traffic, I had an extended amount of time to consider what could work. The instructions are clear enough, have been clear for something like 13 years now, it’s the approach that has been lacking.
After considering that I rarely even know definitely why I am feeling less than good, it seemed sensible that the first thing to do was to listen attentively to myself explain how I am feeling. The goal being to keep talking and keep listening. No jumping in like an obnoxious person who already ‘knows’ what is wrong.
So, I did this. I did this multiple times during the day. Just asked myself how am I experiencing things, and listening to my best efforts to discover what each feeling and thought is. And then, nothing more than that. No hypothesis, no moralistic ‘actualismisms’ no half remembered theory, or psychological pontificating.
Just internal talking, listening, follow up questions. Rinse and repeat at many times during the day and I am genuinely in a good mood.
That’s a win. (link)
Hi Andrew,
An excellent approach – and it worked to put you “genuinely in a good mood”!
Listening to how you feel you will be able to get rid of various habits that managed to get you in a bad mood before and with this way of listening, i.e. paying attention, and awareness to how you feel, they cannot be maintained.
As long as you don’t hold any of your feelings at arm’s length via your previous habits, you will notice that instead of having a feeling, you are the feeling.
Should this feeling be an unpleasant feeling, then, by being the feeling, it is easy to choose being a pleasant, felicitous feeling instead.
Cheers Vineeto