@JonnyPitt: Maybe the primary objection to self immolation is not being sure whether one wants to be by oneself in a fantastical place that isn’t real vs being among others in a place that is real.
The words depersonalization and derealization come to mind. I just experienced actual not as something that is more real than real or Real2.0 or super real but as something that is unreal. So unreal that the word Actual seemed counter-intuitive. Actual and real being synonyms in normal conversation, I found it at odds with the world I just experienced. A synonym for real didn’t seem to convey how unreal it was. Any word at all could be used to describe it as the place has no parallels. Something conveying a magic like quality well known to be fantastical fiction might convey how unreal it is: Genie land, pixie world, fairy land, a spontaneous song and dance with no choreography and no duration where the stage itself is singing and dancing and there is no audience…
So a question I need to ponder is do I want to live by myself in that completely unreal world of pixie dust and theory-less music and plotless pomp or live with my very real friends and real family and my real tribes and anti-tribes solidly centered in reality. Which, say what you will of it, is, at least, real.
Ha, what a brilliant cynical put-down of an actual freedom from the human condition, by someone who likes bluffing [link], because in reality he is afraid to leave his seemingly safe cage when the doors are wide open, and he could instead enjoy and appreciate this moment of being alive.
One of Aesop’s fables comes to mind [link].
C’est la vie, hey.
Cheers Vineeto