Hot people get loads of attention, and because we can’t look away any more than anyone else can we wind up in a ‘chase’ for a small number of people.
For ‘me,’ this can only mean anxiety as I try to do everything to outcompete the others. I run myself to exhaustion & confusion trying to figure out what my ‘edge’ is.
But the beauty-desire is creating the whole situation. I don’t need the beauty to be ultimately fulfilled… in fact it is perpetuating the gap.
Further, when my interest in my partner is predicated on my experiencing beauty-desire for them, I’m putting them on the spot to perform - @Kub933 described it nicely in his post the other day about elegance. That demand to be something that they are ultimately not - ‘beautiful’ - ‘elegant’ - means a block to intimacy. I am not seeing them, I am looking for a fleeting experience of beauty, which I chase as a high.