I have been watching these fascinating documentaries on YouTube lately. This one is about a man with severe amnesia.
I watched another short one about people who remember virtually every moment of their lives
I remember reading an article about a similar case as the first documentary (I think there’s one in one of Oliver Sach’s plethora of essays and books), and how happy that guy seemed to be.
Another thing; I’ve been on and off SSRIs for the majority of my adult life (for anxiety, quelle surprise 
) and the way they’ve seemed to work for me is that they absolutely tank my memory, which makes me forget whatever I was supposed to fret about. This may be very individual to me, but it’s also the reason why I’ve had to wean off of them.
I’ve had that experience with weed, it frequently causes EEs or PCEs for me but also my memory bails out… similarly to you, I think that’s a lot of why the EEs or PCEs happen… I forget to be ‘me.’
Weed also acts on serotonin
Such extreme ends of the spectrum lol.
I have experienced this too, another thing that frustrated me about them. Additionally, my accident caused some minor memory loss especially about types of things I was interested in. Like I used to know every episode name of Farscape tv show (useless info lol) before the accident and after I couldn’t recall. I was really upset at the time regarding the subjective memory loss, and their lack of care about it. From their perspective I was haemodynamically stable and could just go away and get on with my life. It is a strange thing to experience any form of memory loss.
It is interesting regarding the different types of memory at play. The memory behind functions such as walking, picking up objects being different to the concepts built up on something or personal subjective experiences.
I always fascinated to try and understand how matter and energy enables the ability to remember something.
Thinking about memory is not specific to neurons and brains (quote from following published article - Memory formation in matter (Journal Article) | OSTI.GOV
Memories may be stored in a myriad of different systems: from solids to fluids; from paper to stone; from atomic positions to spin orientations; from chemical reaction pathways to avalanches in transition dynamics.
Memories can be encoded in time, as in the spacing between pulses in a spin echo; in position, as in the spacing of particles in a sheared suspension; in temperature as in the rejuvenation, aging and memory of glassy systems; or in chemical bonding, as in a chemically-controlled soup of colloids with designed inter-particle interactions.
Another quote from that page I like just because they articulate the questions I probably would have never thought of.
What constitutes a memory?
Are there different categories of memory and can they
be enumerated? How many memories can be stored in
a system—that is, what is the capacity of the memory
storage? How fast can a memory be stored or retrieved?
What is the entropy associated with a memory? What
gives rise to plasticity, that is, the ability of a system to
continue to store new memories?
Ultimately, I am glad I didn’t lose awareness of something more important. Imagine if I had just totally forgotten about actualism lol.
How long until I would find the bookmarks and saved emails lol.
Weed made me realise how fast my brain goes, constantly over-thinking making tonnes of different associations and connections. Weed would disrupt my memory flow and linking thought style and it would annoy me and frustrate me. This is because this was how I got high from learning and creativity. So for me the creativity and weed high couldn’t go hand in hand. I had to focus on one or the other. I wanted something that had all the other good feel factors of weed but without interrupting my memory.
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Maybe you’re more of a heroin guy
I don’t really like self injecting or smoking though…I guess there is still the oral or anal routes lol
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