Yes, exactly this…I’ve done this quite a lot !..Its like “Hey, your expectation as a feeling being is selfish. But at least, such and such I can expect from you because these are like basic rules of 2 people coming together” ( which is just a selfish way of getting what I want ). But not going to castigate myself - this psychic maze is quite complex
I developed a bit of resentment towards her because I was not getting what I wanted and it took me a while to realize I was doing this. Its amazing how many times the first principle is forgotten - that there is only one person in the world I have to change - which is myself.
When it comes to intimacy (as-in the sincere kinds and not the usual affectionate one), I have to admit - I completely forgot about bringing this to attention because this whole “Covid psyche” put me back for quite some time. Now things seem to be getting better.
She now realizes that she needs love and affection expressed(which wasn’t the case earlier), but her situation is understandable because she had no interest in Actualism and wants to continue experiencing all kinds of emotions forever…including sadness
Btw…did you experience intimacy with your partner…the naive kinds ?
Exactly… I’m understanding much deeply that “people, event and things” is a very unreliable source of happiness because of its quicksand like nature…very easy to fall apart…Instead this “larger happiness” can come from something ever-present and permanent - which is the universe itself.