Shank's Journal

Talk about going out in an apocalypse scenario…I’d love to go out like this crazy radio guy :laughing::

Hey Andrew hijacks are welcome…no worries !

Everything is novel n fresh in actuality…not only it is always now but also this particular moment has never happened before

Cooking some beets in the kitchen, I realize that at this particular biological age of my body and preparing this particular beet has never happened before

With such ever present novelty each moment, how could boredom get in…eyes start widening at the cutting-edge nature of actuality or as Richard said something like “how much more stimulated can one get”

6 Likes

Wow I just realized that many a times subconsciously I’m in this particular frame of mind wherein I feel I should only be enjoying sounds etc as they are in actuality…otherwise it’s some second rate enjoyment so they aren’t worth enjoying

Sounds of birds or of distant vehicles are sometimes very enjoyable even in the real world…the actualism method for a feeling being is going to be affective !

It’s like either I should be experiencing orgasm or no orgasm…no foreplay allowed :rofl:

2 Likes

I went outside early in the morning yesterday; I had passed out early in the evening.

The birds were chasing each other in circles, creating a 3D sound scape.

Tonight, I had my Bluetooth speaker perched behind my head, as I used to do with a stereo whilst laying on the ground.

The sound of the music, tingling down my spine, the dimension of vibration in ways I couldn’t hide from…

3 Likes

Thanks to the discussion on @Miguel Journal, I think I’ve finally found out with much clarity that why on earth I would continue entertaining feeling bad…It’s one thing to want to feel good, but another thing to not wanting to feel bad

Now it’s a matter of actualizing this further…

3 Likes

Yesterday I was having a great time with a friend(the only friend that I have now…who says she is at a happy place but cried terribly after a few dates with a guy :stuck_out_tongue:) at a restaurant…and while enjoying the falafel in the restaurant, the background music playing there suddenly changed to the legendary Godfather tune…immediately from whatever I was feeling at the time changed to a physical goosebump in my arms(hair rising etc)

I’ve often experienced goosebumps while watching movies…like when some really intense stuff happens.

I’ve wondered often what this goosebump is as a feeling…as in the source of it seems something “deep”…It looks like awe and fear, but not too sure…more importanly, as an actualist how to deal with it … any thoughts ?

2 Likes

I experience something similar when I watch a movie or a sports event and something particularly dramatic occurs… something deep within me responds.

For me, in those instances, it’s that the story/scene of the movie, or the situation in the event, has roused some deep desire in me: very often, it’s the desire to be seen as a success by my peers.

So it’s just a question of putting the dots together, what associations do you have with that music or that scene, how does that connect with the things you want in life

And then the really lovely thing is that because you noticed it in a movie (dramatic movies have a wonderful way of revealing these things), you get to find out what things you’re really chasing in life.

2 Likes

Yes…this is indeed looking like the approach to take !

1 Like

I was about to post this in @Kub933 or @henryyyyyyyyyy 's journal hehe much before their recent posts because there is something similar to what they say is going on here too…Its like the universe plays some kinda thing across the earth which effects everyone because I had a somewhat similar thing happen yesterday eve !

Post-dinner, I was strolling across on my terrace when I was wondering how could there be a solution to the grief experienced at the death of someone close and then my mind automatically inclined to the sweetness of the universe around me to find an answer to this ghastly emotion called grief…and yes! - in that ever-present sweetness, there never can be any grief…but thinking a bit more acutely, I realized that the lack of grief wasn’t perhaps because of the sweetness of actuality…it was because “people” don’t exist…so your loving “someone” wasn’t even there to begin with

…and here is where reality felt crumbling…the behaviour of reality is exactly that of some fictional fantasy…just as the entire Star Trek universe with its vulcans and spaceships that don’t exist, so doesn’t exist the feeling-created real world…complete and utter illusion “pasted” over the universe…living a lie all the time…without realizing though lol

For the fictional Star trek stories and universe to stop, it’s author must die…likewise for reality to stop, it’s creator “me” must die

4 Likes

Awesome haha!

The ramifications of this are so far reaching to contemplate it’s kinda blowing my mind - it’s all over nothing!

3 Likes

Oh, Star Trek won’t die, if Disney doesn’t already own it, they will.

Then, and only then, will it truly die. Like Star Wars before it.

Hmm, I don’t know if it’s because I haven’t had a memorable PCE, but the angle “the real never existed anyway” seems somewhat “off”.

Sorta like denial.

Obviously, this is all words on a screen, so the experience of “none of it existed anyway” is surely different to the way it reads in a short forum thread.

Is it going to get “the job done”? This “you never loved anyone because there was never anyone to start with”? (Not a quote, just using the quotations to seperate out the thought).

It sounds very, almost exactly, Buddhist. I should know, because that’s exactly how I used to bring on “unity” experiences. “There is no ‘you’, Look!”.

The fact ‘we’ don’t exist, hardly sounds like a ‘self’ choosing to allow a very ‘real’ self immolation to occur.

Honesty, like I said to John a while back, the whole “they don’t exist anyway” angle sounds like an excuse not to feel.

1 Like

Feeling as happy and harmless as possible, which brings the possibility of something more, is very different to “realise there was no feelings to start with”.

I am sure I am way off due to lack of experience, but that’s what it looks like from the “nose-bleed section of the peanut gallery.” :popcorn:

Yes @Andrew … this is very true…the “people don’t exist” realization would just be a coping mechanism against grief from a feeling being’s perspective…that’s why added that “perhaps”…

That chain of thoughts lead to a more solid seeing of how the real world is a total fiction…it just gives more confidence to abandon it

1 Like

Yups I agree with this…my take is that feeling happy n harmless is where humanity takes a hit because humanity as a feeling is about continuing sorrow n suffering

Yeah at the end of the day it is a realisation and ‘I’ still have to give up ‘my’ very real existence in order to self immolate.

At the same time in a PCE it is seen with complete confidence that ‘I’ don’t actually exist and neither do ‘others’ there’s no denial about it, it’s simply seeing a fact. And so in that EE this is also being progressively seen, ‘humanity’ becomes like a slowly fading away dream, again no denial simply the seeing of what is actually the case, and has been all along.

3 Likes

You guys need to give ‘Andor’ a chance

I did, not bad. The Mandalorian was good too. Not quite dead yet.

1 Like