Until one of the free people can respond:
RICHARD: Yes, the sex drive is an instinctual drive … and, along with other instinctual urges, can be eliminated entirely. Then one is free to act appropriately according to the circumstances and not out of an instinctual reaction. Instincts are not set in stone, they are simply ‘blind nature’s’ way of ensuing survival. With our thinking, reflective brain we can improve on nature in this respect, as we have done in so many other ways. Any instinctual drive can be eradicated.
Then one is free to enjoy the sexual act as a physical, sensual pleasure (not as an emotional or passionate ‘solution’ to loneliness and sorrow via love) or free to enjoy celibacy as an idiosyncratic celebration of singularity (not as a dispassionate or detached way to dissolve the ego via craftiness). It is then an act of free choice to have sex, or not have sex, just as easily in either alternative. No drive means no urge. With no urge there is nothing to have to deny, nor anything to have to indulge. Thus it is neither ‘Asceticism’ nor ‘Hedonism’ … this is an actual freedom.
Yes, the sexual instinct is removed entirely, leaving this body to freely enjoy the sensuous delight that is actual sex.
For my part I have experienced a glimpse of sex without desire and can confirm that it was far, far more enjoyable… the complete lack of possessiveness was notable, as well.
He writes elsewhere that he feels no possessiveness toward Vineeto, that she is free to go sleep with whoever else she may be interested to (though with all care given to STDs, pregnancies, etc… as a matter of practicality.).
This may also be illuminating:
“After a while I turn to my partner who is sitting in the shade beneath a wonderfully gnarled and ancient tree on the lake’s edge. There sits a fellow human being to whom I have no ‘relationship’. Any past or future disappears; she and I are simply here together, experiencing these perfect moments. The past five years that I have known her, with all the memories of good and bad times, simply do not exist. It is just delightful that she is here with me, and I do not even have any thoughts of ‘our’ future.”
I am not free, but I have experienced both monogamy and polyamory and can verify that those arrangements - or any arrangement - still contain possessiveness and jealousy, because the faculties which create possessiveness and jealousy are still alive in the individual.
Nowadays I increasingly see a ‘relationship’ as a simple one-on one interaction with another human being, moment-to-moment, which cannot be ‘arranged’ in advance in any genuine way as conditions are changing all the time. What I can do, is exist in those changing conditions as happily & harmlessly as I can.
For example, what if my partner finds someone else attractive, and not me? Perhaps we will stop seeing eachother as a result, but I have set the standard for myself to be happy & harmless regardless of conditions, so that is my aim for that scenario as well.
Whereas, in the feeling-world it is taken as completely ‘justified’ to be upset in such a situation.