RICHARD: The purpose of life on earth as a human being is to understand that I, as this body, am not separate from the universe. One is, after all, made up of the very stuff of the universe … and I mean this as a physical actuality. The very material that this body is constituted of is the material of the universe – one did not come from ‘outside’ of it and be randomly placed ‘in’ here by some god for some mysterious purpose that is not up to humans to fathom. It is possible to fully know the ‘Mystery of Life’ to such an extent that one is completely satisfied and fulfilled. Nothing more needs to be done other than to live it each moment again and to enjoy and appreciate it all fully and totally. The utter purity of this perfect understanding – and the living of it – defies imagination and is impossible to believe. All of ones wishes and dreams are answered … and more. It is the adventure of a lifetime to embark upon a voyage of exploration and discovery; to not only seek but to find. And once found, it is here for the term of one’s natural life – it is an irreversible mutation in consciousness. Once launched it is impossible to turn back and resume one’s normal life … one has to be absolutely sure that this is what one truly wants.
RESPONDENT: Wouldn’t that be so for eternity if that were possible (by say, medical advancements?).
RICHARD: Again, only an identity, being forever locked-out of actuality, desires immortality – the very stuff of a flesh and blood body, being the same-same stuff as the stuff of the universe, is already always existent – and, as this flesh and blood body only (sans identity in toto), one is that eternal stuff … directly (apperceptively) experiencing its own perpetuity.
And this is truly wonderful.
/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////
???
I wonder if geoffrey and Srinath experience this : one is that eternal stuff … directly (apperceptively) experiencing its own perpetuity.
Maybe I am looking for some of that Kuba’s search for immortality ! 
“The clear and clean and pure awareness of apperceptiveness is a total certainty and complete absence of doubt that manifests itself primarily as a constant and unwavering fascination which never flags and never turns away.”
-Richard
“The characteristics of actual freedom are not present in actualism as dogmas demanding hopeful belief with its blind faith and trusting surrender. The actualist knows that these facts are self-evident from the PCE and are available to anyone who cares to investigate in a sincere way.
…
(a) it is ‘me’ in ‘my’ totality that is standing in the way of the already always existing perfection here on earth;
(b) all feelings are inherently flawed and are narcissistic by nature;
(c) every other-worldly truth is, in the end, unable to bring about peace-on-earth;
(d) there are actually no entities that are unborn and undying, timeless and spaceless, birthless and deathless, formless and ceaseless, immortal and immutable.”
RESPONDENT: Upon looking at it further it appears that I am addicted to ‘me’ (suffering) but that I am also addicted to the escapes from the ‘me’.
RICHARD: Okay … is the addiction to being ‘me’ stronger than the addiction to escaping from being ‘me’?
I only ask because if the addiction to being ‘me’ is the more powerful addiction then successful escape is the last thing ‘I’ am looking for (and thus ‘I’ will keep on re-treading the known path, the familiar path, the path that does not deliver the goods).
Whereas if the addiction to escaping is the more powerful addiction then successful escape can (and will) happen.
RICHARD: Where you say ‘you sound like a remarkable man’ , if you mean it sincerely I would like to congratulate you for your perspicacity, because I must emphasise that it is vital that you aspire to being a remarkable person yourself … or else you will not succeed in ridding yourself of your sense of identity. This is very important, because people can put themselves down only too easily as being not good enough, not intelligent enough or not capable enough. I am not gifted or special … I was born of ordinary parents, was sent to an ordinary state school – receiving an average education until I was fifteen years of age – took an ordinary job and worked for a living. I eventually got married and had four children
and bought a house and … in short, I was relatively normal and did all the expected things. Thus did I live my life for thirty two years according to the ‘tried and true’ methods as laid down by the countless millions of other humans that had lived before me. I tried my best to make their system work to produce the optimum result … but to no avail. Only then did I make the first and most important movement of my own volition … I discarded the ‘tried and true’ as being the ‘tried and failed’. (I did say ‘I was relatively normal’ because one thing, and one thing alone, stood out that distinguished me from whomsoever else I met: I wanted to know – as an actuality – just what it was to be a human being here on this planet, as this body, in this life-time.)
(emphases mine)
This is something I have had on my mind all the time since the video chats and being able to interact with @geoffrey, there is this demonstration of what one’s behaviour and general demeanour is like when actually free and now there is this thing before me of “I can live this too”, to actually be innocent, benign, caring and considerate and have great fun whilst going about it. It reminded me of Richard mentioning to someone to see the flag next to the golf hole and aim for that⛳️
henryyyyyy. This quote by Richard, is ironically so helpful, because those of us that
consider “ourself” “intelligent or accomplished”, are easily fall in the trap of feelings that Richard
had touch upon here. And this is very very clever, intelligent ( cunning ) way that “I” can evade exposure of “myself”. Which is what the opposite of Sincere Intent!
appreciate the re-reminder henryyyyyyy
Gold. Inspiring. Thanks!
“The soul – ‘who’ I feel ‘I’ am deep down inside – is apparent in every belief, every mood, every emotion and every affective reaction that one experiences. To find one’s soul in action is the essential task for an actualist because the very action of recognizing my soul in action is paramount to dismantling it. The soul is the deepest core of my being, the seat of the instinctual passions, the very substance of ‘me’”
RICHARD: I only get to meet flesh and blood bodies here in this actual world (if that is what you mean) … there are no psyches, and thus psychic webs, in actuality.
Which is not to say they have no reality for either the purveyor or the recipient … on the contrary it is quite real, so very real in practice, as to have more significance/consequence than ‘facial expressions, voice inflexions, choice of language, bodily movements’ and so on. For just one instance of this I can recall, many years ago when this flesh and blood body was possessed by a ‘being’, another person smiling in a jovial manner, with a relaxed posture, delivering a psychic coup de grâce … which decisive finishing stroke put an abrupt end to any further discussion about the non-viability of a particular course of action they were adamantly proposing must be carried out.
It was this, and many other such instances, which showed ‘me’ that, for as long as ‘I’ continued to exist, ‘I’ was vulnerable to the dictates of a more powerful purveyor (unless ‘I’ were to become the more powerful of course) … and ‘I’ could remember many such episodes going all the way back into child-hood.
The psychic ‘blow’, so to speak, came in through the solar-plexus (a complex of radiating nerves situated behind the stomach), about four-finger widths below the navel where one’s very ‘being’ is felt to be located, as an energetic current and inexorably travelled swiftly up the spinal-column whereupon, reaching the nape of the neck/base of the brain, it branched out to either side via the limbic system and (presumably) activated the amygdalae – two almond-shaped organs in from and just behind-below the ears – thus pumping fright/freeze/flight/fight chemicals throughout the brain and crippling rational thought.
Which is why I say that the psychic currents are the most effective power plays. Vis.:
• [Richard]: ‘All sentient beings, to a greater or lesser extent, are connected via a psychic web … a network of energies or currents that range from ‘good’ to ‘bad’. Feeling threatened or intimidated can result from the obvious cues – the offering of physical violence and/or verbal violence – or from the less obvious … ‘vibe’ violence (to use a ‘60’s term) and/or psychic violence. Similarly, feeling accepted can occur via the same signals or intimations. Power trips – coercion or manipulation of any kind – whether for ‘good’ or ‘bad’ purposes, are all psychic at root … the psychic currents are the most effective power plays for they are the most insidious (charisma, for example).
They have no existence outside of the psyche – which includes the imaginative/intuitive faculty of course – and whilst the psyche is in situ the psychic currents reign supreme … albeit behind the scenes, as it were, and most often overlooked/unnoticed.
Hence my observation regarding them being the most effective power plays.
Very pertinent to my current experience.
[Richard]: ‘The felicitous/innocuous feelings are in no way docile, lack-lustre affections … in conjunction with sensuosity they make for an extremely forceful/potent combination as, with all of the affective energy channelled into being as happy and harmless as is humanly possible (and no longer being frittered away on love and compassion/malice and sorrow), the full effect of ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being – which is ‘being’ itself – is dynamically enabled for one purpose and one purpose alone. (…) The actualism method is not about undermining the passions … on the contrary, it is about directing all of that affective energy into being the felicitous/innocuous feelings (that is, ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being, which is ‘being’ itself) in order to effect a deliberate imitation of the actual, as evidenced in a PCE [a pure consciousness experience], so as to feel as happy and as harmless (as free of malice and sorrow) as is humanly possibly whilst remaining a ‘self’.
Such imitative felicity/innocuity, in conjunction with sensuosity, readily evokes amazement, marvel, and delight – a state of wide-eyed wonder best expressed by the word naiveté (the nearest a ‘self’ can come to innocence whilst being a ‘self’) – and which allows the overarching benignity and benevolence inherent to the infinitude, which this infinite and eternal and perpetual universe actually is, to operate more and more freely. This intrinsic benignity and benevolence, which has nothing to do with the imitative affective happiness and harmlessness, will do the rest.
All that was required was ‘my’ cheerful, and thus willing, concurrence’.
(emphasis mine)
Of particular note is that naivete (amazement, marvel, and delight) arises via felicity/innocuity in conjunction with sensuosity. It’s not necessarily something one can ‘skip directly to’ or ‘invoke,’ if not already feeling good.
The mark of success is to be willing to do whatever it takes, to proceed with all dispatch, employing much vim and vigour … and have a lot of fun along the way. That last bit of advice is important: do not forget that the goal is to enjoy life now, to appreciate this moment of being alive now, no matter what is going on – be it good or bad, bearable or unbearable.
"Once in a while I get hit by bouts of self-doubt with questions like ‘have I fallen off the path to freedom’, ‘have I gone comfortably numb with no emotions happening’, ‘am I overlooking something essential’, ‘how come it takes so long’ and similar mental churning. Often, after a period of a really good time without feelings or emotions, this nagging doubt appears again to drag me down. Trying to think it out leads nowhere, it only spoils the enjoyment of this moment. Having explored the doubt exhaustively before, to now go deeper into the feeling of it for exploration’s sake only leads to more doubt, guilt and pointless frustration.
Finally it dawned on me that this self-doubt, like other repetitive feelings before, is simply a bad habit and needs to be treated as such – not to be given any attention at all. Gee, it took some repetition to find out that one!"
"Doing some more ‘reflective contemplation’ on the issue [comparison] I began to understand that comparison is almost a constant undercurrent whenever the ‘self’ is in action. Sometimes as a slight tension in the background, sometimes an obvious sadness invoked by feeling inadequate, comparison to others and my own standards seems to be almost synonymous with being a self. Getting this far in my contemplation there was the conclusion, bright and clear – I not only feel inadequate, I am inadequate, because according to my own standards I haven’t finished my job and my destiny. If I ever want to be adequate, then self-immolation is the only way to achieve my aim. Until then I can strive or resign, toss and turn – there is no solution within the Human Condition. It’s cute how every follow-up of and digging into issues always ends up at the same point, giving me more fuel to live on the edge of the imminent inevitable.
In Actual Freedom, of course there is no comparison – everybody is doing what is happening and one is doing it the best one can because that’s where the fun is. It is really that easy."
RICHARD: “You see … what if I had indulged in this intellectual type of bovine faecal matter verbiage when answering your ‘child on a bike’ question. What if I had said: ‘Oh there is no danger when whizzing around a blind corner … your concern is all ‘based on some conception of a certain loss that can only be the outcome of active imagination?’ This is what wanking looks like in print.”
Translated:
If I had engaged in bullshit the way you did, I would be a wanker just like you.
This was an interesting read, thanks for reminding me of this page @Andrew. I forgot about these details and that Richard had home schooled as well.
I find what he says about giving your children too much licence of great interest. A lot of the troublesome children in my area that have recently bullied my kids, I notice have just no boundaries and seem to have total free reign. They really don’t give a shit about the consequences, they are not phased by being told off, etc. My brothers were like this though and my parents did discipline him so it is not always due to lack of boundaries. This type of behaviour including my brothers, it always annoyed me lol.
Richard’s view on being a friend with your child seems so difficult for me and radical. I became friends with my dad eventually but because I made the effort to want to know him and understand him, not the other way around. I think at present, maybe from my children’s perspective, I have a more Jekyll and Hyde personality, clearly flipping from felicitous to irritable or low mood. I hope that being in my company is not too stressful for them.
My parents very much had a shut up and do as your told attitude for some things but then could be open and liberal on others, again a sort of confusing mix. I often feel very lost in parenting, like I am just winging it.
The following on that page also struck me:
RESPONDENT: 2) How old were your children when you became actually free and how did that event affect them and their/your relationship?
RICHARD: They would have been, respectively, about twenty five years of age, twenty four, eighteen and seventeen; at the time none of them were affected as they were not around to notice anything (they were all scattered far and wide living their own lives); my association – there is no relationship in actuality – with them is no different than with any other fellow human being … and which fellowship regard they all have, to varying degrees, had some perplexity in accommodating themselves to (as exemplified by the second-youngest saying, at age twenty two or thereabouts, that she sometimes wished she had had a normal father as, unlike her then girlfriends who were getting married and having children of their own, she had ‘inherited’ a quest to pursue and could not settle down)
there is no relationship in actuality
This always comes back to mind…it seems so radical to me.
it’s not for nothing that Richard writes somewhere that he is the most subversive man to have ever lived
Richard: …why not set feeling good (a general feeling of well-being) as a bottom-line of experiencing so it can become ‘second-nature’ to feel good, each moment again come-what-may, sooner rather than later?