Quotes

Actualism
41

"Given that it is, plainly and simply, always ‘my’ choice as to how ‘I’ experience this moment then the optimum manner in which to do so is, of course, sincerely/ naïvely.
Thus the part-sentence in that previous post of mine [quote] ‘and to be sincere is to be the key which unlocks naiveté’ [endquote] is worth expanding upon.

The operative words in that part-sentence are [quote] ‘… to be the key …’ [endquote] and with particular emphasis on the word ‘be’ (rather than ‘have’ for instance).
In other words, to be sincerity (not only have sincerity) is to be the key (not merely have the key) to be naiveté (not just have naiveté).
(Bear in mind that, at root, ‘I’ am ‘my’ feelings and ‘my’ feelings are ‘me’ and it will all become clear).
As there is something I have oft-times encouraged a fellow human being to try, in face-to-face interactions, which usually has the desired effect it is well worth detailing here:

Reach down inside of yourself intuitively (aka feeling it out) and go past the rather superficial emotions/ feelings (generally in the chest area) into the deeper, more profound passions/ feelings (generally in the solar plexus area) until you come to a place (generally about four-finger widths below the navel) where you intuitively feel you elementarily have existence as a feeling being (as in ‘me’ at the core of ‘my’ being … which is ‘being’ itself).

Now, having located ‘being’ itself, gently and tenderly sense out the area immediately below that (just above/ just before and almost touching on the sex centre).
Here you will find yourself both likeable and liking (for here lies sincerity/ naiveté).
Here is where you can, finally, like yourself (very important) no matter what.
Here is the nearest a ‘self’ can get to innocence whilst remaining a ‘self’.
Here lies tenderness/ sweetness and togetherness/ closeness.
Here is where it is possible to be the key."

-Richard

“… being the nearest a ‘self’ can be to innocence – the naiveté located betwixt the core of being and the sexual centre (where one is both likeable and liking) – is attached as if with a golden thread or clew to the purity of actual innocence [pure intent]; an on-going EE is, thus, where one becomes acclimatised to benignity and benevolence and the resultant blitheness because the purity of the actual is so powerful that it would ‘blow the fuses’ if one was to venture into this territory ill-prepared).”

-Richard

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42

“…the transition from the real-world to this actual world is a seamless transition – all what happens is that an illusion is no more (somewhat analogous to Santa Claus, et al., ceasing to appear real upon the illusion being exposed) – it is thus all much ado about nothing … literally!”

-Richard

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43

“If something, some feeling, some thought, some worry, an annoyance, an aggravation, etc. was preventing my happiness now then that issue was the one to track down, to find the source, to investigate, to discover, to uncover. Relationships between men and women present a veritable goldmine of issues to look at, a fact I was well aware of when first propositioning Vineeto. One can feign and pretend being happy and harmless in a cave, a monastery or in a crowd, but the ‘test of fire’ is one on one. If one cannot live with one other person 24 hours a day in equity, peace and harmony, then all the theories, beliefs, ideals, sacred teachings, and holy feelings are but unliveable dreams and ancient fairy-stories. It’s called ‘putting your money where your mouth is’… to put it bluntly!”

-From Peter’s Journal

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44

Did any of you who have had PCE, experience anything like this ?

“However, a word of experiential advice: just prior to apperception occurring, ‘I’, the beholder – the one who wants to be in control – can view life as being bereft of depth. Everything can become flat, two-dimensional, barren and stark. This is not actuality, although one may be inclined to feel it to be so. This is reality, stark reality, and is not to be confused with actuality. Actuality is never, ever, stark. This starkness (perceived by the “being itself”) can influence one to pull back, to retreat into ‘normal’ life. Courage of one’s conviction and confidence in the purity of the actual is essential if one is to proceed. All of one’s ‘being’ wants to back off and regain the once-despised reality that looks so attractive now, from this extreme position. This stark reality is a barrier; it is a desert of monumental proportions that one can only traverse if supplied with the fortitude garnered from the peak experience. Then one is willing to endure the ghastly reality masquerading as the actual. The very ground beneath one’s feet can appear to shift, to disappear, and all seems to hang upon nothing. Unsupported and alone, one is in the outer-most reaches of ‘being’. The feeling is that one cannot survive this appalling emptiness without going mad. To be in durance vile is not for the faint-hearted, the weak of knee. Nerves of steel are essential if one is to meet one’s destiny. It is the adventure of a life-time.”

I did feel something like the above yesterday, during my “PCE” practice, but I can not be sure,
because as henryyyyyy said: " things can and do get very weird in PCE practice" :sweat_smile:

Maybe this is what @henryyyyyyyyyy was referring to as the “4” possible objections to allowing
the PCE to happen ( in his reply to me in my journal) ?

45

“…I ceased believing that life on earth was a grim business with only scant moments of reprieve…

yet I did not start believing in perfection. To repeat: I stopped believing, period ( even in perfection).

All sorrow and malice stems from the activity of believing… which arises from the believer. ‘I,’ as a psychological entity, can only believe - or disbelieve - in possibilities and impossibilities. …

By believing perfection to be possible ‘I’ perpetuate ‘myself,’ ‘I,’ by ‘my’ very presence, inhibit that splendid perfection becoming apparent.”

-Richard on infinitude

46

written by an actualist :

But then the kind of investigation that informs how we’d like to be, how we’d like to operate, what is possible, can only happen from feeling good.

When I first started with Actualism I went down that path and I believed that if I only follow a recipe of A->B->C then I would magically be granted feeling good. Of course this did not work, and

as I understand now the reason this did not work was because I had removed myself from the equation,

I removed the sincere intent to feel good and the genuine seeing that it is silly to feel bad.

Those 2, are the primary drivers responsible for moving from feeling bad to feeling good.

This is where actualism gets tricky to convey I think.

It is really about sincerely wanting to feel good, to generally enjoy being alive.

The tools are just things to help one fulfill this intention.

Without the intention, nothing will work anyway, as that isn’t what one is wanting to do. But I don’t know how to convey the parts of “how to get to wanting to sincerely feel good” other than “well you just have to want it” lol . And that that’s up to each person to figure out. It may not be possible to formulate this… you just have to see it

When I first read this my first impulse was agreement. There are times recently when I have been, essentially surfing the wave of sheer enjoyment and appreciation, for hours or days at a time. It is very different than normal, and it’s relatively easy to stay surfing there. And I wanted to initially say that yes, in such a state just seeing my feeling good is diminished, was enough to get back to feeling good / keep surfing.

The missing piece in what you describe here, as you wrote, is “the genuine seeing that it is silly to feel bad”

or specifically the genuine seeing that it is silly to let that incident in particular take away from one’s enjoying and appreciating of being alive.

Speaking for myself, I have many triggers which I’ve attacked repeatedly for years now but are still extant. I think that’s par for the course. But over those repeated offenses, I’ve chipped away at the issues, weakened them somewhat, and learned a lot about what works better and worse in my investigation process.

And then, when the conditions are right, the magical event happens where something which had always existed in ‘me’ evaporates, never to be seen again
///////////////////////////////////////////

That helped me a lot .

47

Yes I have certainly experienced that numerous times both before & after starting actualism.

It has to do with seeing ‘reality’ very clearly, with the clarity that comes with attention. It’s not really related to the actual world but it is encouraging in the sense that that clear attention is being brought to bear on one’s reality

That stark reality is one of the weirdnesses that can occur!

Also, it wasn’t so much ‘the 4 possible objections’ as, ‘4 common objections that I have experienced.’ I’m sure there are many more possible objections that can be experienced!

48

Yes I can also relate to the stark reality experiences although for me most PCEs didn’t go through those, they happened serendipitously. However I remember going through periods of experiencing stark reality for various amounts of time and eventually purity poking through.

49

“Talking to Peter later on I realized that there is only one solution to any problem that occurs – only when I have enough of it am I ready to get out of it, I simply stop feeding the feeling and, bingo, the problem disappears with the bit of identity that had kept it in place. It might take a long time until one has had enough – and some people are obviously tough and stubborn sufferers – but once the limit is reached, a curious decision can be made and then it is only a matter of minutes to be free of the burdening feeling. If the understanding and decision is total, that feeling won’t come back. And then, one is able to make sensible responses to the situation, free of affective feelings.”

-Vineeto

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50

"Experiencing another human being directly, without my ‘self’ in action i.e. without preconceived ideas, beliefs, feelings of appreciation or rejection, without structure and time plan, as if for the first time, was such a delicious, ambrosial and obviously superior experience to any highs I had ever experienced in love. Mad and daring, I decided I wanted more of this, even if it would cost me all my friends, all my beliefs, everything I had considered of value up to then. And I did lose them all. But the intimacy and resulting peace and harmony that I live with Peter every day, 24 hours a day for the last 12 months without any disagreement, sulking, nagging, compromise, role-play or restriction is worth any sacrifice of hopes, beliefs and ideas. Further, I can also relate to people as they are, with no preconceived hopes or fear which allows an intimacy unexperienced in the times of ‘love’. "

“Complete attention is only possible if there is no personal investment in you whatsoever, in that moment. This complete attention is not something ‘I’ do, this attention is what is left when there is nothing else that distracts that attention or apperception. Then you simply delight in the very is-ness of things, people and events, without directing, feeling, fearing, inventing, controlling, planning or hoping. So in my experience, it is freedom from the ‘self’, freedom from ‘me’, the feeler and believer, that has to come first and then you don’t need any love. Without malice and sorrow one is simply benevolent, magnanimous, intimate with everyone and swimming in delight. You probably remember this from your PCEs.”

-Vineeto

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51

"See, the quality of the actual world is delight. The very actual-ness of everything is pure delight. Actualism is ‘the experiential understanding that nothing physical is merely passive; the personal experience of the universe experiencing itself as a sensate and reflective human being as opposed to a cerebral or affective perception.’

For instance, listening without the layer of emotions, morals, values, beliefs and instincts, to the hum of the fridge, the sound of cars passing by, the rumbling of the computer doing its thing, is delighting in being alive and this very hearing is one function of being alive. No love is needed to layer on top of the very happening of things, it only destroys the purity and perfection, it only binds it into a man-made system of conditions, belonging, control and fear. If you love one sound, you reject another. To love silence is to despise and be upset by noisy business. Love would utterly spoil the game of being happy, here, now, each moment again, for no other reason than being alive, fully and sensately experiencing the universe around me. Without the self being sorrowful and malicious, fearful and lonely, loving and belonging, compassionate and grateful – nothing else is needed to delight in each moment again."

-Vineeto

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52

VINEETO: Personally, I had to spend quite some time investigating and reflecting in order to fully understand the radicality of an actual freedom from the human condition as opposed to the imagined spiritual freedom I had pursued before. Once I did understand however, that an actual freedom is down-to-earth, factual and pertains to this actual tangible world and is indeed a freedom for this flesh-and-blood body while a spiritual freedom is achieved by and for the imaginary spirit ‘being’ occupying this flesh-and-blood body, it was blindingly obvious that nothing short of totally freeing this flesh-and-blood body from the imaginary spirit ‘being’ would do. I knew then once and for all that there is simply no point in fiddling with the imaginary spirit ‘being’ in order for the imaginary spirit ‘being’ to have a feeling of freedom whilst the actual flesh-and-blood body remains in the same clasp of the imaginary spirit ‘being’ as ever.

:fire: :fire: :fire: :fire:

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53

VINEETO: I do agree that ego, the male ego as much as the female ego, can be a great hindrance to sincere inquiry. However, I have found that it is possible to observe, examine and inquire into both my obstinate ego and my passionate soul so that they won’t interfere with my intelligence such that I can make sense of what it is to be a human being. The ‘self’ – both ego and soul – can be transformed in such a way that it agrees to and facilitates its own demise because ultimately that is the most satisfying thing to do in one’s life. It’s the only game to play in town, as we say around here.

:fire: :hot_face: :fire:

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54

The below is from Richard’s Article :
Attentiveness is sensuous attention and sensuousness enables the experiencing of things without distorting feelings …whilst seeing the world of people, things and events as-it-is is apperception

Can you please tell me what is the difference between: “sensuous attention” and “sensuousness”.

Thanks

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55

“…the actual changing of behaviour required my total self-obsession in order to be aware of what I was doing or feeling at every moment. What is it, in me, which is in the road between us? Why am I upset? Why am I annoyed or moody? What is now that is preventing my experiencing peace and harmony? I was totally interested in what it was in me.”

-From Peter’s Journal

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56

I think they’re the same thing, ‘sensuous attention’ is just ‘attention in a sensuous way’

Attention: “notice taken of someone or something”

So it’s taking notice of things in a sensuous way, that is, based on the senses rather than affect.

It’s interesting because in the article Richard also emphasizes the importance of not side-stepping the emotions when they are happening:

It is impossible for one to intelligently observe what is going on within if one does not at the same time acknowledge the occurrence of one’s various feeling-tones with attentiveness. This is especially true with the hostile and invidious emotions and passions (those that are hateful and fearful). In order to observe one’s own fear, for instance, one must admit to the fact that one is afraid. Nor can one examine one’s own depression, for another example, without acknowledging it fully. The same is true for irritation and agitation and frustration and all those other uncomfortable emotional and passionate moods. One cannot examine something fully if one is busy denying its existence.

So with that in mind, sensuous attention is something that happens specifically when emotion/affect is out of the way, so the attention is there to be given to whatever is sensuous-sensitively happening.

This has to do with the advice that @Srinath and @Felix have been emphasizing in the other thread, which is to ensure that felicity is happening before/while ‘looking’ for sensuousness.

And I’ve said it elsewhere but I am certainly one of those who has gotten stalled by emphasizing ‘sensuousness’ without ensuring that felicity is firmly in place.

Richard equates felicity with delight and happiness as well.

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57

Thank you so much henryyyyyyy that is very helpful!

I also found this said by an actualist:
The seeing that it is this moment of being alive automatically makes ‘me’ feel felicitous feelings. It was also this approach that Richard responded to saying that it delineated the difference between caused and un-caused enjoyment. Further to that, it has been my experience that if you consistently stay with that seeing (which can also potentially devolve into “living in the present” if no attentiveness is applied) then a PCE will inevitably occur.

Attentiveness [ seeing ] ( cognitive of this moment ) is – the fascination – of – the reflective contemplation –
that this moment is one’s only moment of being alive – and one is never alive at any other time than now.
Attentiveness – leads to – > Sensuousnes
cognative >>>>> pre-emotional fidelity

Sensuousness ( nonaffective awareness of this place ) is – the wondrous awareness – of
– the marvel of being here – now at this moment in time and this place in space.

With Attentiveness one starts to feel ‘alive’. Being ‘alive’ is to be paying attention – exclusive attention – to this moment in time and this place in space. This attention becomes fascination … and fascination leads to reflective contemplation. Then – and only then – apperception can occur.

Attentiveness is seeing how any feeling makes ‘me’ tick – and how ‘I’ react to it – with the perspicacity of seeing how it affects others as well. In attentiveness, there is an unbiased observing of the constant showing-up of the ‘reality’ within, and is examining the feelings arising one after the other … and such attentiveness is the ending of its (feeling) grip. Please note that last point: in attentiveness, there is an observance of the ‘reality’ within, and such attention is the end of its embrace … finish.
Here lies apperception.
,
I, FrankN, am trying to feel good :slight_smile:

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59

Kuba said:

mortality is not a curse, being here on this planet earth is not some punishment to endure.

Writing this is I am having the flavor of the perfection that lies just outside of being ‘human’.

Whenever I taste this perfection I am left with the acute reminder that I am missing out on living it fully. It’s a funny one because also ‘I’ cannot really speed the process up by wishful thinking or by getting emotionally involved. Genuine change does not go according to ‘my’ timeline.

60

3 posts were split to a new topic: Posts appear in other threads

61

“This fear I overcame by simply doing what I had decided to do despite my fears. This is not confronting the feeling of fear itself but simply setting oneself a goal in life and getting on with doing it. This way I did something useful with the fear by turning the feeling of fear into the thrill of discovery. I also did a similar thing with desire – I used it as the desire to succeed in my newfound life’s aim. Nurture was similarly utilized in wanting to be part of the ending to human suffering, and aggression was channelled into a quiet stubbornness and determination to succeed.”

-Vineeto

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