Unlike @henryyyyyyyyyy, who has the excuse of the Alaskan seasons to be posting like there is no tomorrow, i could be down the beach right now on some of the world’s whitest sands, in the world’s cleanest ocean.
What a moron i am.
In reality i am ‘high’ on this forum. An actualist forum. After 10 years: an actual forum! No more mind bending Yahoo, talk-over-the-top chat rooms. An actual forum.
Even the word : Forum, gives me a psychological hard-on.
We can read a whole topic, a whole journal, in sequence and know that we have tools to save, link, quote, copy etc a thumb tap away.
In that vain, let’s engage full naivete-warp-drive, and get this party started!
I am actually enjoying my aircon right now. It’s probably close to 40 deg Celsius in the shade out there, so the idea of the beach is probably better than its actuality.
I am also in the middle of a rather lovely drama with my ex. A juicy exploration of the war of the sexes, with the twist of me being naivete on the way to being personified as someone who actually gives a hoot.
By the way, i really like how you are putting yourself out there.
Seems entirely sensible to me. It’s just the concept of beach that sounds fun. It’s the ‘right answer.’ Naivete says: actual freedom forum! And drama with ex! These are interesting!
I have a past life as a poet, so it comes naturally lol
Poets are exhibitionists
(I mean past life as in, that was a game I played for a few years).
Ah, cool. A poet and an exhibitionist. There is an identity i could rock.,
Putting oneself out there is a double edge sword, until the point where there is enough momentum that it does not matter if someone doesn’t get it; one gets it.
With pure intent, it doesn’t matter what happens. Everything is fuel. Narcissistic? Great! You believe in yourself! Depressed? Great! Now you can plumb the depths of your soul and sadness! Anxious? Great! You have energy to do lots of investigation! Mean? Great! You can use meanness to get your way (freedom).
Truly nothing can go wrong. It’s quite incredible looking backward and seeing that.
Happy & harmless are the best. But all the rest will happen.
What I’ve been experiencing lately is that with more and more happiness and harmlessness, I’m ever-more emboldened to go farther and farther to the edge. Nothing can stop me. That’s what it’s like, now.
That is exactly what i have been learning from reading your journal and interacting with you.
There is nothing more honest than a naive kid without a filter. And thus, i wish to be that kid, with not so much a filter, but a happy and harmless vibe.
It seems that the verification from that event changed everything for you!
I remember having PCEs and going to the bar and talking to everyone with ears. No shyness at all. Not long before I was so anxious. It’s really wonderful
The wonderful thing about actualism is, it works. It’s connected to what is ACTUAL. That means, the closer we get to the actual thing, the better everything works. It’s all the verification that ‘I’ need.
It’s so fun!! And nothing can go wrong. “I think I’ll think about death for awhile! That sounds interesting!”
I’m scared of things still, but it’s no bother. Of course I’m scared of things, I’m human!
It takes time to become free, but that’s ok! Of course it takes time. It’s fun in the meantime, anyway! And there are all these surprises.
