Necessity of anger while living in society

In interactions with people, it seems anger is sometimes necessary. Some people do things only when they are yelled at. Otherwise, they take things lightly at the cost of others’(my) inconvenience.
Also, instead of discussing things they’d start yelling at some perceived indignation and when I respond to their yellings calmly, they redouble their voice and emotion. My being calm also gives the onlookers the perception that I’m on the wrong side, or meek who can be walked over. I tried faking anger but it’s less effective and difficult.
As some one committed to becoming actually free, how would you approach such instances?

It’s a simple matter that, you don’t have to be angry to yell :slight_smile: . If someone really only responds to yelling then you can yell without being angry. Similarly you can act solemn when you are supposed to be sad, at a funeral for example.

You can stand up for yourself without getting angry. Actually I’ve found it’s far more effective to stand up for myself when I am not emotional. My business partner is very good at this and he isn’t even aware of actual freedom as a possibility let alone being committed to becoming free.

Yea people can and will do this… why let that spoil your enjoyment of being alive by becoming angry in turn?

There is probably an aspect of you feeling hurt or defensive which is evoking further anger in the other person, rather than actually being calm/unaffected.

But even so they might redouble their voice and emotion… but again you don’t need to be angry to respond in turn.

Well take a look at Richard’s correspondence… does he give off the impression of someone who is meek or can be walked over? And he wrote all that without ever being angry :smiley: .

Maybe that’s because it’s something you’re not used to?




Acting is more than pretending. There is still resolution and intent.

Looking at the profession of acting, there is a lot of practice and skill in being a convincing actor.

Richard and Vineeto (mainly Richard) actually told me off for 10 minutes or more with a very stern face, and convincing voice.

He also told stories of having to yell at kids loitering around where they live.

As you say, it is sometimes necessary!

However, it takes practice. I have had to do it with my own children. I know that I have to get through, and talking alone isn’t cutting it.


Richard told me a story of when he was young and in the Army boot-camp (obviously not free), and he pretended he was ready to fight a bully as a bluff, and the bully left him alone after that. Bluffing/faking can be very effective and useful. There is a lot of sensitivity and skill in determining how best to exist in any given situation, what will give the best results for this body that body and every body.

For example, earlier today I was experiening quite a bit of emotional suffering, but I put on a calm/relaxed demeanor around my parents because I knew they would just worry about me, that they couldn’t offer any useful advice for my situation, that the most likely outcome would be compassion from them. So I avoided troubling them and causing more trouble for myself by faking it.

Generally I prefer to be sincere and direct, but some situations call for something else.

Another example: when training a dog it is best to use emotional facial expressions and body poses that the dog can understand. That is something a free person can do without actually feeling the emotions.