Your “being kind to myself” reminded me of Richard’s “being friends with yourself” (link), which Anglic apophthegm did nothing for me personally (the same goes for his “putting everything on a does-not-really-matter-in-the-long-run basis” whereas “Demandingness” readily clicked for me). But, knowing what I now know about ‘secondary disturbations’ as they habitually occur moment to moment in my life, I now see that it is pretty much in the same territory.
Page 22 of https://www.arebt.org/pdf/jrebt2002.pdf#page=22 might be of interest as far as propaedeutic-appellative lucubrations of this affective epiphenomenon go.
It generally helps to be aware of these ‘secondary disturbances’ in oneself each and every moment they occur (it is part and parcel of HAIETMOBA, anyway), and have fun with it (link), because the whole point is to imitate the PCE via enjoying and appreciating being here right now (link) … and thusly those ‘secondary disturbances’ become less prevalent over time, thereby increasing that very enjoyment & appreciation of being alive in the process (the way to have fun is by having fun in finding out why one is not having fun!).