So, this or that person can have all sorts of learnt ways of manipulating others, but it only works because we are made out of exactly the same stuff.
So, someone learns to project their own frustration as anger onto others. Another learns to project their own frustration as sorrow, and that’s probably about all there is.
Either we are putting out anger, or we are putting out sorrow.
Then we have these elaborate constructions on what to do now.
As you rightly put it, we create the problems to then justify ourselves solving the problems.
The funniest thing is that for all I know he could have stubbed his toe during the sparring and had an automatic reaction of frustration, or any number of things and then my feeling process created an entire monster out of this. We are all going round doing this and sorta ‘bouncing’ off each other constantly.
They could have insisted everything was fine, and the same drama played out. That’s probably most likely.
If they were psychically skilled at projection, then “I am fine” would have been the answer.
Actually, it reminds me of something I have noticed in my particular MO; I will tend to ask others if they are OK, when it was actually me who wasn’t OK.
Yeah so I notice it goes a step further, it’s the reason why it does not make sense to simply believe what people say or accept what they feel as having some authority. Rather I need to make my own assessment of what is actually the case.
Because let’s assume he stubbed his toe and automatically felt anger rise up, he might indeed twist this anger and project it onto me and say - you’re doing something wrong because of X or like you say do the whole ‘I’m fine’ thing. So if I was to ask are you OK and then simply accept the answer as being true I am forgetting that people are blind to their own distortions, as in they will believe/feel that I truly did something wrong, meanwhile the toe stub was the culprit all along haha, well the real culprit is the affective which causes the mind fuck to begin with.
Which is where pure intent comes in. Because knowing that just about 100% of what anyone (including oneself) says is utter bullshit as far as accurate assessment of what is happening, can lead to consciously manipulating people.
Enter the entire world of “how to win friends and influence people” sphere.
Yeah I was just thinking about that side of the equation and for any well meaning person observing this happening there is only 1 sensible option - to step out of it completely which means no possibility for manipulation either way.
I was thinking about those who might be unlucky enough to grow up around parents/guardians with emotional issues, at a period where one’s entire reality and sense of identity is being actively created from that very felt feedback along with the labels projected.
What a terrible handicap to give a developing human being, that’s on top of the handicap we all inevitably pick up one way or another.
Actually, my brother is like this. And a guy who wrote the software I use.
They seem to be able to “step out” of the normal drama via being incredibly intelligent about everything they do.
Bad examples, actually. However, there is the choice of “paying lip service” which can also be Richards favourite; baffle them with really long words, lot’s of nested clauses, and meticulous attention to detail, and above all, a sly sense of humour, akin to being the very space between, but not touching, any feelings of importance.
Edit: removed quotes; he has never said any such thing apart from “pay lip service”.
Well there is a difference in being able to manoeuvre the drama intelligently and stepping out of the drama altogether, then it does not exist to be dealt with to begin with.
People who manoeuvre it intelligently still intuitively experience this drama, whereas no drama exists in the actual world, only human being going around acting as if it is happening.
Yeah I would definitely be down for a call/zoom, its just getting the timings that is tricky e.g right now I am doing some cheeky posting whilst at work
