Hi Vineeto,
I was thinking about your question intently today as to not reply with a furphy.
It looks that ‘I’ don’t want to be seen/exposed/revealed. Remaining some semblance of control ‘I’ can cover up ‘my’ tracks so to speak.
It’s like ‘I’ am holding in a very dirty secret, and that secret is to do with ‘my’ very ‘being’. And to proceed into the new territory is to allow for that ‘dirty secret’ to be freely revealed / penetrated into.
And to allow that to happen is to begin the process where ‘I’ unravel.