So this prospect of being freely existentially naked has been on the forefront of my mind, it is a very exciting thing! I noticed that another big objection has fallen off since yesterday, which is closely related.
If anything this objection shows the ‘success’ or the strength of the social conditioning. Because along with this feeling of vulnerability there was always this impression… That it was as if the ‘who’ that ‘I’ am was displayed above me on a screen, and was ‘I’ to step outside of those boundaries there would be immediate corrective action from others. That someone would shout “Imposter! that is not the real Kuba, you must get back in line”. The funny thing is that I would experience this even when going to interact with people that I have never met before! That somehow they would also know that I have dared to step outside of those boundaries. It’s quite staggering to contemplate just the grip that ‘humanity’ has on it’s subjects.
And yet since yesterday it is like something went, allowing the possibility that this existential nakedness is invisible to others means that the control that ‘humanity’ exerts on ‘me’ exists only in the psyche also, and is therefore not a fact. Essentially it means that those chains which bind ‘me’ to ‘humanity’ require belief (and plenty of fear) for their effectiveness, without belief they melt away and are revealed to have been insubstantial all this time.
Also all this contemplation on becoming naked and abandoning ‘humanity’ reminded me of Geoffrey’s poem :
Geoffrey: For I had been exploring the unknown continent, its golden cities and living clouds, for weeks, without a word. When some letter found its way to me, its ink faded from the sea voyage, enquiring about matters so home-bound as to appear foreign: a quarrel about definitions, from the Royal Society of leathery armchairs, asking for my judgment. My ruling.
Please differentiate! they ask. Please settle our quarrel!
We wish to classify, exactly, those birds we’ve never seen!
So the golden city and the living clouds laughed and danced and sang:
"Won’t they open the windows? Won’t they bathe in the stream?
Won’t they take off their clothes, and swim through the sea?"