Hi Vineeto,
Vineeto: As this permission to have your life living itself happens on a deep ‘being’ level (“the entirety of ‘my’ being”), and has already “changed the atmosphere around” you, you can safely allow this contemplation simmer in the background…
Yes that is so correct, I think even by the time I read your reply this was already happening.
Vineeto: It’s an exciting, exhilarating and thrilling time and I remember it as ‘her’ happiest time as a feeling being.
Yesterday I went to teach my evening BJJ class and (this was actually the main reason for the “evening glooms”) I was always so scared to freely and fully enjoy and appreciate whilst there, something about ‘my’ role as a coach which was blocking it. And yesterday it was as if ‘my’ entire ‘being’ had/was just a big sincere smile from corner to corner, with no hint of resentment or bitterness and no self consciousness at having/being this. I have never experienced such deeply sincere happiness and harmlessness, ‘I’ was smiling with the entirety of ‘my’ being.
I am not sure if this means the jump has or has not been made, but I can experientially understand this now. I can see that self-immolation cannot possibly be something done by ‘me’, it is something that will happen to ‘me’, with ‘my’ full agreement. As you said a while back, it is not ‘do-able’ but rather ‘be-able’.
“the sheer (f)actuality of the universe is what eventually does ‘you’ in”
This has been coming to mind alot recently, actually over the weekend there was a pretty funny/delightful experience. I was going to one of my hen do’s, it’s a drive to the seaside with a very picturesque setting throughout and all the while I was in wonderment… I had to pull over by the roadside at one point to relieve myself, the first car that drove by gave me a little honk, initially ‘I’ responded with fear, thinking ‘I’ am doing something wrong, but then I realised that most likely that was just a playful honk by the driver, and then the largesse and fun of it all hit me in such a total way, it was just a layer cake of enjoyment and appreciation at doing this business called being alive, in the world as it is with people as they are. I thought this would be the perfect way to go 
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But also this “sheer (f)actuality of the universe is what eventually does ‘you’ in” , allowing this I can see that there are actually countless reasons for ‘me’ to disappear and the more I allow this the more reasons are staring me right in the face. This morning I was reading a text from my brother (we have been talking about my recent knee injury), and we have always had a great relationship, we have had the same interests and spent much time together. And I was so appreciative of this, of him, and yet I could see that only without ‘me’ could that enjoyment and appreciation be complete.
So far there has only been some delightful experimentation here 