Oh and as were at it let me mention another thing which could well be another illusion generated by ‘me’ but it is interesting nevertheless.
To go back to ‘me’ looking out the window, there is exactly that illusion generated that ‘I’ can then step into the world which was peeked through the window. So ‘I’ (the arbiter) end up projecting ‘myself’ into an imagined actual freedom. That is when it is just another adventure in ‘my’ world, with the psychic guns etc.
Yesterday as I was looking at all this I experienced it completely differently though. To go back to this metaphor of the greenhouse… That self-immolation is when those boundaries which give ‘me’ ‘my’ very real existence are dissolved, so much so that ‘I’ would have never existed in the first place.
So I experienced this as 2 completely different things, one being ‘me’ jumping from illusion to illusion and the other being ‘my’ dissolution which reveals the already always existing actuality.