Hi Vineeto,
Thank you, you hit the nail on the head here. Yesterday after writing that post (perhaps I just had to get it out to look at it) things shifted into a different gear and I was thinking how to describe to you what is going on. I was thinking along the lines of the fact that it is difficult to know how close or how far one is until self-immolation happens. But then yesterday when things shifted it’s been experienced as very close, for the reason that it is all already happening, it’s a bit like what Geoffrey said to us in a zoom a while back that “‘your’ bodies are currently having that experience” (presumably referring to experiencing actuality / existing in actuality). So it is seeing that there is no void left behind when ‘I’ disappear because ‘I’ am not substantial to begin with, the transition must be seamless because actuality is already here, it is that the illusion called ‘me’ is eradicated via ‘my’ self-immolation.
So this is the kind of thing that was going on, but then you summarised it perfectly, that it is ‘me’ seeing and agreeing to the fact that ‘I’ am redundant. And so since writing that post and the gears shifting the insecure feeling has not featured much. There is mostly just that seeing, and coming back to it over and over, that ‘I’ am redundant because actuality is already here / already taking place now.