The below quote from Richard has been coming up for me :
Richard: Innocence is something entirely new; it has never existed in human beings before. It is an evolutionary break-through to come upon innocence. It is a mutation of the human brain. Naiveté is a necessary precursor to invoke the condition of innocence.
It’s like the “loud-mouth” that is ‘me’ has been quiet enough to allow this exquisite purity to be beaming through, at times it has my jaw on the floor, just how incredible sensate experiencing can be, how pure and how close it is.
And I notice that although these experiences are “intense” (in terms of richness), it is not a hedonic intensity, the intensity/richness is precisely because of the purity and the closeness, meaning that it is all blithe and benign, it can’t be too much in that way. To stick with the recent theme - those experiences are intense/rich precisely because of what is no longer in the way, meaning that what is already here is experienced in a direct and clean manner.
Which the above makes something very clear experientially, that ‘I’ have to disappear in ‘my’ totality to allow this fully. There is no question about it, that exquisite purity is exactly where ‘I’ am not, it is experienced when ‘I’ am not etc.
I guess it’s different understanding the above intellectually and then walking down the wide and wondrous path until this becomes clear experientially. So yes I understand now what those words mean - Naiveté is a necessary precursor to invoke the condition of innocence.
The other thing is that seeing all this experientially there is no emotional/passionate reactions, in fact the emotional/passionate reactions are the dreams/nightmare scenarios which ‘I’ concoct in the meantime, until the above sinks in.
What a fascinating adventure it is, because I remember 2 distinct phases - first it was looking at the mountain of ‘human wisdom’ which seemed like I could never face up to it’s power and authority. And yet bit by bit it was taken apart until it became meaningless. Then it was the “wall of fear”, again seemingly an impenetrable force field, all very real and ghastly etc, and now it’s nowhere to be found.
So now I find myself very much how Peter described in the actualists guide (Peter Guide on the Path to Actual Freedom)
Peter: As the remaining explorations and understandings peter out, one finds oneself in a state where everything begins to become calm and comfortable, as though a great storm has passed. A surety and easiness firmly based on actuality, a growing delight at being here and a joy at being alive is palpably present in one’s life whereas – if one can remember – confusion, belligerence and resentment once prevailed. Being happy and harmless is a salubrious state – it becomes increasingly effortless, requiring no ‘me’ to be continuously on guard, checking and controlling, lest malice rears its ugly head or sorrow insidiously seeps in. Realizing this fact leads to a gay abandon, a tangible loosening of the controls, and one is able to crank up a free and uninhibited YES to being here in this moment in time, not only fully involved in doing what is happening but also being aware of, and delighting in, the doing of it. This is most definitely not a feeling of gratitude maintained in order to overcome the fundamental human resentment but it is a palpable sensual delight in being in the business of being a flesh and blood body. This abandoning of control is also accompanied by a cessation of the incessant need to make sense of each and every situation or event. Increasingly all emotional memories of the past fade and disappear and any anxieties or worries about future events fall flat for want of any emotional input. The memory of ‘who’ one was at the beginning of the path to freedom also withers, as does the memory of the obvious fears and trepidations that were there at the start of the process. More and more, an unbelievable perfection and purity is obvious in this actual magical world and it becomes glaringly obvious that the ghostly remains of ‘my’ psyche will eventually collapse