There is something that I am not sure about… There are times when I am contemplating the above and being drawn towards it with the entirety of ‘my’ being. And then there is something like a very strong passionate response, not in a sorrowful or fearful way, it’s more that ‘I’ realise that this is what ‘I’ want, what ‘I’ have dedicated ‘my’ life to, what ‘I’ have been aiming for for all these years - to enable that which I have seen, for everybody, to set things right etc. Let’s say it is a powerful passionate “call to action”.
The thing is I have experienced this before and it would usually rise to a crescendo and then afterwards the forward motion would stop. And so what I am not sure is if this passionate “call to action” could be a diversion? That ‘I’ had ‘my’ emotional experience, which it felt meaningful and yet ‘I’ am still here after-all. Or whether this powerful passionate energy is indeed what is needed for altruism to be activated.
It seems a diversion, it’s like a little melodrama to distract from doing that which makes sense, which is to allow for ‘me’ to disappear. That melodrama appears to be there to ‘shift some weight’ and yet it keeps ‘me’ in place. And anyways what weight is there to ‘me’ disappearing into oblivion? Certainly there is no weight shifted when ‘I’ go into abeyance in a PCE. It seems that ‘me’ disappearing for good must be equally light as a feather…
In fact this seems certain, that melodrama would have it that ‘I’ do it, that ‘I’ end ‘myself’, and so ‘I’ remain. For ‘me’ to allow ‘myself’ to disappear takes no ‘shifting weight’, it takes for ‘me’ to allow it to happen.