Hi Kuba,
What a marvellous experience and description of discovering a basic resentment underneath it all and how it “got in the way of peace and intimacy between me and my fellow human beings”, so much so that it made you realise that only ‘self’-sacrifice can resolve this significant obstacle. And even more wonderful that this insight, this “intense yearning to set things right” unleashed the powerful energy of “an enormous caring and daring” which you had walled up in your “precious independence and its resultant splendid isolation” – as Devika so eloquently called it. (Richard’s Journal, p. 218).
This powerful energy has been lying dormant for all those years and your yearning for ongoing enjoyment and appreciation has finally set it free. What a wondrous outcome and eminent proof that the actualism method of enjoying and appreciating this moment being alive, each moment again, works miraculously.
Life is truly wonderful.
I am full of admiration for your daring and caring.
Cheers Vineeto