Hmm it appears it might have been belonging, the apparent safety which inheres in it’s warmth. But this was only an entry point, because the pivotal thing was seeing the very intuitive concept of ‘the good’ for what it is. Which I see now as something like ‘humanity’s’ dirty secret, because of what underpins it. The PCE sealed the deal because neither the good nor the bad exists where ‘I’ am not.
But now it is like I cannot unseen it haha! It is everywhere, it is in every one of ‘my’ dramas and every one of ‘humanity’s’ dramas, the battle between good and evil, danger and safety, hope and despair etc is what keeps ‘humanity’ alive. It is only by going past / abandoning both the good and the bad that the immaculate perfection and pristine purity of this moment in time and this place in space becomes apparent. This last sentence takes some courage to write but it is how I experience it to take place exactly.